“There is no failure. Only feedback.” – Robert Allen
I am writing this article based on my own opinion and also as a reminder to myself, the next time I visit and read this article again.
In my life’s journey, I have come across a lot of feedback, I would prefer to cherish the positive ones and learn from the “not so positive ones”.
When we are the person who is giving the “constructive” feedback (and at times it sounded more like criticism), we tend to believe that we are doing something good and helping the person that we are giving the feedback to… and in our minds, we thought that the feedback is a gift to the recipient.
In my humble opinion, it depends on the the following:
- how is our trust and relationship with the person?
- how much does the person like us?
- what is the level of respect from this person to us?
- when are we giving the feedback? timing is everything!
- how are we presenting the feedback to the person?
- what is our level of expertise to provide the feedback?
- what is the context of giving the feedback?
There is never one factor when taking action or giving feedback. The situation is normally more complicated then we think.
No matter how noble we think we are giving the feedback to the other person, he or she may not think otherwise…
“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection.” – Kim Collins
I have received a lot of feedback to date and just the other day, when I was doing a project for a client, not sure what got into me… I was really affected by the feedback from one of my business partners (not that the feedback was really bad or serious)… I believe I got triggered NOT by the WHAT but by the HOW the feedback was delivered.
Can you imagine, how much effort and hard work I have put into this project and to wait for the day to run the session? And how difficult it was to run the session with high expectations and pressure to deliver?
Then suddenly, a message stating that the person is not happy with one thing… how about all the other good things and effort put in?
Then the experience had made me realised that, feedback is only a gift when the other person is ready to receive it… this is one of the surprise that the recipient is not looking forward to get!
There is no perfect situation to provide feedback… ultimately, it boils down to the trust and relationship of the person with us. Even giving feedback to our loved ones, we will need to ensure they are in the right state of mind (mood) to hear what we have to say… Not forgetting to communicate with them our intention of providing the feedback, based on some facts and not just feelings.
No one is perfect and free of mistakes, we are all works in progress. At least for me, there is a need to work harder and strive for excellence.
“Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.” – Carl Jung
All the very best to you and enjoy life’s journey.