Embracing Transformation: Lessons from “The Earned Life” by Marshall Goldsmith

“We are living an earned life when the choices, risks, and effort we make in each moment align with an overarching purpose in our lives, regardless of the eventual outcome.”

Today, I want to share my learning journey through the pages of “The Earned Life” by the insightful Marshall Goldsmith. So, grab a cup of your favourite brew, settle in, and let’s embark on this inspiring and life-altering experience.

Good Moments:

First and foremost, let me share with you the beautiful moments I’ve experienced while immersing myself in this profound book. Marshall’s wisdom is akin to a guiding light that leads us through the intricate labyrinth of life. His words resonate with a clarity that makes you feel like you’re engaged in a heart-to-heart conversation with a mentor and a friend. This book not only offers insight but a fresh perspective on the idea of what it means to truly earn a life of profound meaning, purpose, and boundless fulfilment.

Not so Good Moments:

Of course, it’s not always a path strewn with rose petals and sunshine. There have been moments when I’ve recognised the Herculean challenge it can be to let go of old habits and embrace new ones. Marshall’s insights often serve as a mirror, reflecting the ingrained behaviours that might be holding us back. Acknowledging these tendencies can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s precisely these moments of realisation that pave the way for growth. After all, personal growth isn’t always a smooth ride, right?

Personal Growth and Gratitude:

My journey through the pages of “The Earned Life” has been nothing short of an awakening. It’s been a voyage of self-discovery, unearthing the patterns in my life and the behaviours that might need a tweak. It’s a humbling experience, recognising that we all have room for improvement. I’m profoundly grateful for the opportunity to learn from such a respected coach and author. It’s a privilege to have access to Marshall’s wisdom, and I can’t help but express gratitude for the transformation it has initiated within me.

Key Takeaways:

As I reflect on this profound reading journey, I’ve identified some priceless lessons that I’m eager to carry forward:

Daily Self-Reflection
Marshall’s advice on daily questions for self-reflection is a game-changer. It’s the small, consistent steps that pave the way for monumental personal growth.

Behavioural Change
Embracing change is a significant aspect of the “Earned Life.” It’s about consciously choosing behaviors that align with your goals and values, making every moment count.

Helping Others
Marshall’s emphasis on contributing to the lives of those around us is a gentle reminder that a life well-earned involves making a positive impact on the world.

Future Goals:

So, what’s next? I’m excited to integrate these profound learnings into the fabric of my daily life. I plan to cultivate the habit of self-reflection, committing to purposeful behavioural change each day. Additionally, I aspire to extend my gratitude by helping and making a positive impact on others, just as Marshall recommends. This is not just a set of goals; it’s a pledge to lead a life that’s truly earned.

In closing, I’m thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow from “The Earned Life” by Marshall Goldsmith. It’s not just a book; it’s a companion on our life’s journey toward a more meaningful and earned existence. So, I wholeheartedly encourage you to pick it up if you haven’t already. Here’s to learning, growing, and embracing the wisdom that helps us lead a life we’ve genuinely earned, one moment at a time.

Marshall Goldsmith’s wisdom is an endless source of inspiration. As he beautifully puts it, “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

May we all choose growth, and may our earned lives be a testament to the transformation that’s possible when we dare to embrace change and live with purpose. Cheers to a journey of meaningful transformations and to Marshall Goldsmith for being a guiding light on this path of profound personal development!

“Your habits, your future!”

Questions to Ponder Part 2

questions answers signage

“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.” – Bruce Lee

Hello there! How have you been keeping lately? As we go through this interesting times, I would like to share the second part of the “Questions to Ponder” series.

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Here we go…

1) How are you spending your weekend?

Many of us will be looking forward to the weekend and the question is, how to make the most out of the weekend? Not sure about others, and as for me, I will be doing the activities that I love doing; going to the market (apart from buying groceries, it is a good place to observe all walks of life), have my cup of coffee, breakfast, relax, recharge and rejuvenate. Catch up with my reading, listening to podcasts and attend Sunday service. It is also a good time to plan for the coming week’s focus and priorities… then put that aside… drink some water and relax… slow down and get ready to speed up!

Everyone will have their own way to spend their weekend.

Weekend GIFs | Tenor

old people technology meme Gallery | Funny old people, Old people memes,  Humor

2) How are you using technology to help you?

The use of technology is a part of our lives now, whether we like it or not. The other day, I experienced a crisis at home… what was the crisis about (apart from the COVID-19 pandemic)? The WIFI router decided to die on me and there was no connection to the internet. My kids and I, PANICKED! I was going to do my project assignment, and my kids, their homework and studies online… I was trying to troubleshoot the issue for half-a-day, I even went out to get a new WIFI router! But it did not work… Felt really helpless and stuck for not having any connectivity to the world. Anyhow, I have to resort to my phone’s data personal hotspot… slower speed but at least connected.

No Internet GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Anyway, technology can help us in many ways, I use it for the following:

  • Online research for my assignments, projects and content ideas;
  • Online purchases (YAY! Shopping)
  • Order food and beverages
  • Make payments (utilities, bills, loans, transfers, etc.)
  • Virtual learning, workshops and coaching

How about you? What do you use it for?

servant leadership? cool story, bro - steve jobs cool story bro | Meme  Generator

3) How do you plan to serve others?

Everyone has their own strengths (let’s not focus on the weaknesses), talents and passion. How will you be using your strengths, talents and passion to help and serve others.

Having to discover my life purpose; “Inspiring and Developing Leaders to reach their highest potential for God”, I have decided to use my strengths, talents and passion to help people (leaders) to discover their potential via learning and development engagements.

Spongebob Popcorn GIF | Gfycat

Please do not underestimate yourself, we may think that our strengths are not significant, I am certain that to some people, they will need help in the area that you are good in. Let’s have an open mind and learn how we can serve / help people, so that our world can be a better place.

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY START 10 NEW HABITS AT ONCE - One Does Not Simply |  Make a Meme

4) What good habits do you want to form?

Haha, the meme above may seemed funny… however, the message may have some truth in it. We do not have to focus on cultivating a lot of habits all at one. Just focus on one main (key stone) habit (as per the learning from the book, “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg) and you will be discovering the journey of changing habits (as one behaviour that you change may affect the other areas of your lives).

“And once you understand that habits can change, you have the freedom and the responsibility to remake them.” – Charles Duhigg

Some of the good habits you may be interested in to form:

  • Exercise, run, walk, sweat and move more than being sedentary
  • Plan, strategise, prioritize and take action
  • Read to add value on a daily basis
  • Sleep and have a good night’s rest
  • Eat right and in moderation
  • Be present and focus, not get distracted
  • Be kind, compassionate and practice empathy
  • Express yourself, via journal, blog, have a conversation
  • Invest, spend and do your own financial planning

and many more… let’s start with one first… when you get results, I believe you will be motivated.

REJUVENATE AND KEEP YOURSELF HYDRATED - Feels Good | Make a Meme

5) How do you rejuvenate and restore yourself?

In November 2018, I have shared a blog regarding the same topic… the title of the blog is, “Reboot” and “Refresh” Habits

You may click on the link and enjoy the article.

Should you have anything to add, please do not hesitate to put it in the comment section.

“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise, we harden.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

There you go… the next five -(5) questions to ponder…

Stay Safe, Healthy and Strong!

God bless.

“Your habits, your future!”

How am I keeping myself busy?

“Focus on being productive instead of busy.” – Tim Ferriss

It has been about 80 days since the day the Movement Control Order (MCO) started. I have to confess that business is badly affected and I thank God for providing me enough opportunities to date.

How have you all been keeping lately?

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This is me keeping myself busy, HAHA!

One of the reasons for me to have this blog site is to record relevant memories of my activities, and who knows, one day, some one would like to know about my life story…

“Productivity is being able to do things that you were never able to do before.” – Franz Kafka

5 Simple Principles From 5 Years Thinking About Productivity
Busy being busy… WOOHOO!

Below will be my activities in the past 80 days and not in any particular order:

Working with my partners on promoting some virtual / remote online training
I am blessed to have good partner friends who have included me into their digital marketing plan. Together with one of my good brother, we have presented to many clients and we have branded the programme as “Crash Course Series” which can be done in 60 – 90 minutes. An effective, straight to the point learning and application tools for people who attend the session. The learning here is for us to create our own opportunities and not everyone will buy-in to your ideas. We just have to keep going in this journey of our lives. As what Simon Sinek wrote in one of his books, “The Infinite Game”, it’s a continuous process of learning.

Delivering virtual / remote online training
Thank God for some great opportunities to provide learning sessions for clients and the overall feedback was good, some were even surprised that virtual training can be effective and engaging. I truly appreciate the feedback and encouragement. What I have learnt from the delivery, we have to put in extra (boost) of energy level and constantly engaging with the participants as they cannot feel your physical presence, thus we have to use various methods to create the engagement.

Getting news that some loss of business and cancellation of events
Every time during this period, receiving this kind of message is really not easy and it weighs down my heart (initially). As a professional trainer, coach that constantly preaching and selling the idea of being positive and motivated… now my actions will speak louder than my words. Like I say to most of my friends, we are now living in an interesting times. It’s a journey of learning discovery. Nil desperandum!

Chin Up GIFs | Tenor
Chin UP!

New Normal of doing things
The other day during dinner time, we had a conversation about the lock down and not being able to go out like we used to. In fact, we have not gone out to the supermarkets or malls as a family for leisure, not eating out at restaurants, watching movies and many more that we used to before. That is one of the new normal of lives. Coming back to training, I have also helped one of my partners to deliver a certification programme, the new normal was having leaders from different countries joining the session, borderless participation and learning. My good trainer friend and I had this conversation about using technology to deliver our training, never expected that this would come sooner than all of us thought it would.

Improved cooking and time to perfect the hobby
I have to confess that I used to tell people that I do not like to bake as baking was not for me… guess what? Because of this interesting times, I have ventured into baking breads, muffins and experimenting new recipes, making new dishes for my family (thank God that they liked it… HAHA!). Not only that, my wife had seriously ventured into edible gardening and soon, we will get to enjoy the fruits of her labour.

TIK4TIPs Chit Chat Time / Show

TIK4TIPs Chit Chat Time / Show
My good brother, partner and friend, Ravi had inspired and invited me to do a talk show with him, I am blessed and honoured to be collaborating with him. We want to leave our legacy behind by adding value to share our discussion / question of the day with people who tuned in. I will be posting the videos in my YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp7dGv9pxwNdM7Gf2CxE4gw?view_as=public

Learning and improving video creation skills
During this period, I have also received requests to provide short videos and digital content to clients. The only way to learn, is to do the work and by doing, I learn from mistakes. Also the need to do more research on tips and tricks in video creation. I am thankful for the requests that I get to learn more about video creation skills.

One of the videos created

“You will enrich your life immeasurably if you approach it with a sense of wonder and discovery, and always challenge yourself to try new things.” Nate Berkus

WAYS TO KEEP YOURSELF BUSY DURING QUARANTINE - Paulette Magazine
Learn new things…

There are a lot of things to do and learn, what are the new things and skills you have obtained during this period? Do share with me in the comments. Looking forward to learning from you.

Stay healthy and safe.

“Your habits, your future!”

Life of a Trainer, Facilitator and Coach (Survey)

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

Last year I did a survey (for fun) to get some inputs from my friends who are in the professional development industry. Their experience as a trainer, facilitator and coach / mentor are ranging from two -(2) to twenty five -(25) years. I have a lot of respect for them and I am glad that they are my friends. Thank you for all your inputs… you know who you are!!

At times, I received some questions on how to be a trainer or coach and I look forward to this sharing to answer some of that questions that one has pertaining to this industry. Well, you can always invite my friends or me for coffee to discuss or brainstorm further…

Without further delay, please find outcome of the survey…

(1) Why are you doing this?

  • To leave a legacy behind that I have touched and transformed people positively worldwide.
  • As a Coach I can support young people to find their life purpose and develop their competency to success in VUCA World.
  • I love doing this because my passion is to impart knowledge in the most simple, engaging and connected manner.
  • Doable Business
  • My passion and helping people
  • Passion
  • Self-satisfaction, Giving Back to Society
  • Is something I am passionate about and a journey of learning for both.
  • Out of passion
  • To inspire people to do their best to strive
  • it fulfills my passion of helping people think better

As for me, my life purpose is “To inspire and develop leaders to reach their highest potential, for God.”

(2) What is the most memorable experience in training or coaching? (feel free to share more than one)

  • After more than 15 years people still remember on the impact I created in their life
    When people say that I make them feel great about themselves
    When people say that they become better because of my teachings
  • I helped an entrepreneur of a construction company to turnaround his business by just developing the leader inside him (learn how to lead self, influence people, listen more and treat employees the way they want by learning their love languages). And this is a volunteer project for SME community.
  • When your participants give you a round of applause not only at the end of the training (usually 2 days) but at the end of the first day! Nothing beats that feeling of satisfaction.
  • The feeling of HIGH @ the end of program
  • When participants/clients change for the positive, and appreciative of our coaching/training
  • Seeing lives transformed for the better
  • Your participants remembering you , when it has slipped your memory
  • When I know I have made some difference in the organization striving for betterment
  • I remember the first time my participant told me that it made his life better, at work and with his family… the joy I had to continue my journey as a trainer/coach/sharing/mentor was a breeze.
  • 1. The person coached performed outstandingly and received a double promotion.
    2. The whole branch performance turned around from red to black within 3 months when the HQ management gave them 1 year.
    3. 14 bank branches increased sales in all their identified weak portfolios in less than 2 quarters with a minimum increase of 25%. The list goes on……..
  • Participant remembered what you taught them and applied practically in life and workplace
  • When I got feedback from a participant how she applied the insights and also share the insights with her colleagues who also benefited from the learning

As for me, all of the above and more, when you know are able to make a difference in lives… every session is different and not everyone in that session will apply what they learned. I am just looking for one person, one life to inspire… I trust there will be one every time!

(3) What is your favourite quote?

  • Choose to Lead, once a while learn to follow
  • “Live a life you want. Do not care too much on how people think about you”~ my quote:)”
  • “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment” Jim Rohn
  • Knowing is not doing
  • For things to change for you, you have to change first yourself.
  • The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.
  • “We are all learners, and that is the way to grow positively”.
  • Too many to recall. 8 truth of life by Abdul Kalam is a good guide for me
  • All that is not given, is lost!
  • Follow Your Passions And Success Will Follow
  • The purpose of the body is to carry the brain

My favourite quote will be the quote I share with everybody… “Your habits, your future!”

(4) Who are your role models?

  • Jesus Christ, MGR, Konosuke Matsushita, My Parents, My wife
  • Jeff Bezos; Warren Buffet; Steve Jobs
  • Barrack Obama – His Leadership Traits Anyone with patience and perseverance
  • Myself
  • Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jack Ma
  • Jack Canfield, John Maxwell, Robin Sharma, Marshall Goldsmith, Dr Peter Chee and others.
  • My First Head of Department (1977)
  • My prophet
  • I am my own
  • Tony Robbins
  • My parents

I have many role models, Jesus Christ, my parents, my mentors, coaches, my wife and even my kids… I am really learning from them!

(5) What are the titles of your favourite books?

  • How to win friends and influence people
    How to stop worrying and start living
    Think and Grow Rich
  • Coaching & Mentoring for Breakthrough Success; Value Investment; The Power of Think Difference; Sapiens.
  • The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey
    How Successful People Think: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life – John Maxwell
  • Purpose Driven Life
  • Simplify, The Power of Habits, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Mindset…etc
  • Too many to recall….To Kill A Mocking Bird . My Family & Other Animals.
  • Quran
    A balance life Nutrition immunology by Dr Chen
    Art of war
  • You’ll See It When You Believe It.
  • Change your habit Change your world
  • Mindset, Start with Why, Leaders Eat Last, Rewire

Mine will be… easy… all of the above, haha!

(6) Any advice or tips for one who wants to start as a trainer or coach?

  • Pursue excellence in training by being a role model
  • You must love what you do and do what you love.
  • Be genuinely passionate about everything you do… and you will see the miracle happen.
  • Be transparent and creative
  • If you aren’t passionate enough, and wanting to be a coach or trainer because you see/admire/envy others having the income or the lifestyle, then don’t do it. You must have the love for people in order for you to go far in this industry. Also, it starts from yourself. You need to keep learning, improving and change. Role modeling and walking the talk is very important.
  • Educate yourself first.Open Minded, Live Long Learning
  • Match it with your passion. Training can be in many areas
  • Have a whole lot of passion.
    Love what you do and do what you love!
  • Doing what you are passionate about is more important
  • Know what you want to focus and excel in and why you want to do it

If you do it as your work, it will be tedious… if it’s play… everyday is a fun day!

“Difficult and meaningful will always bring more satisfaction than easy and meaningless.” – Maxime Lagacé

“Your habits, your future!”

Communication habits

“Communication is the response you get…”

The quote is one of the NLP presuppositions that I have learnt from my certification program. Yes, we communicate everyday and we get all sorts of responses as well.

Another favourite of mine is…

“You cannot NOT communicate!”

During my training workshops, I will ask the participants (especially to those who are married)… “what will happen if you do not communicate with your spouse for a week?”

Most of them will answer… “you will sleep outdoor…” “that’s the end of you…” haha all interesting answers.

In this blog, I would like to share some good communication practices and habits.

Please feel free to share your thoughts as I believe I am still learning and we are in this learning journey together.

Here it goes…

  • being congruent

How are you being consistent with your words, the way you say it and body language? Are you in harmony with your intention and action?

Trust is congruence between what you say and what you do. – Peter Drucker

  • Attunement

When communicate with others, how aware are you with their responses? How is the receiver learning? What method will be effective for them to learn faster? Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic?

We each have a sixth sense that is attuned to the oneness dimension in life, providing a means for us to guide our lives in accord with our ideas. – Henry Reed

  • Listening

How are you listening?

We can learn from the late Stephen Covey… “listening with the intent to understand…

it will be challenging to listen effectively when you have filters. We start judging and jumping into conclusion… definitely not helping us nor achieving good rapport with the speaker.

Awareness and mindfulness to perfect practice empathy… listening to emotions in the tone and physiology… may not be easy at first, it requires a lot of conscious effort plus practices to make it into a good habit.

Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike. – Daniel Goleman

  • 5 second rule

Happened to come across this learning from the book… “To sell is human” by Daniel Pink. A good book to read for leaders. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1594631905/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_alMrDbZZH9BHC

In summary, let’s wait for 5 seconds to ensure that others have finished with what they have to say… then we can reply. Pause and silent is one of the powerful tools in communication.

Silence is one of the great arts of conversation. – Marcus Tullius Cicero

  • Ask one question at a time

Our brains works fast and we may have lots to say or ask… to be effective, learn to focus on one question at a time. Let the receiver understand and internalise what you are asking, let them have the opportunity to answer with better comprehension of your question.

Avoid asking “nested questions”… question within a question or too many questions at one go…

The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. – Bruce Lee

  • It’s the manner not the matter

Communication is how we deliver the message not only the message nor it’s meaning.

Even if it’s not so good news delivered in a right manner, trumps good news delivered inappropriately…

Better good manners than good looks. – Proverb

  • Avoiding sarcasm nor assumptions

Usage of words and how you say them is important. What I’ve learnt when providing feedback and not to sound sarcastic nor implying that the receiver is at fault… usage of “I” rather than “you” will be recommended. “You” sounded more like placing the person as the attention of the conversation and may cause them to feel at fault.

Ask questions, don’t make assumptions. – Angela Ahrendts

  • Begin and end with positive

Imagine when you start on a journey with positive… a good start and everything will be better… the feeling will be great too. Then finishing off with positive as well… WOW! I don’t know about you, for me… that is truly recommended and ideal in any situation (most of the time…).

Let’s do our best to start and end with positive. People will be more appreciative and should we be consistent with that practice, it becomes our brand as a positive communicator.

Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success. – Paul J Meyer

Feel free to experiment the sharing above and let me know how it goes… looking forward to your success!

“Your habits, your future!”

Habits of Getting Organised

“Organizing is a journey, not a destination.”

The other day when I was having a meeting with my friend and also accountant, I realised that I really need to learn to be more organised. I believe there are a lot of benefits when we are more organised.

Some of the benefits of getting organised are:

  1. Reduce the feeling of having too much and overwhelmed.
  2. Get more done in less time.
  3. Having a sense of control.
  4. Better branding for self-leadership.
  5. Less clutter, less stress.
  6. Calm and more relaxed, knowing where things are.
Image result for meme get organized

Then I sat down and started thinking about this topic on “Getting Organised”… And I came up with the diagram below or more of a doodle.

Let’s start from the top left…

Set up an information centre for work and family; something like a notice board to remind on certain actions or activities… road tax renewals, bills and all of that sort. It can be a magnetic white board or the pin-up type of board. At least when any of your family members want to refer to certain important information, they have a central point of information.

Remember to back up your files and important documents; photos, videos and scanned copies of documents. For photos and videos, you may consider Google Photos (unlimited space if you save to their default type or quality), if you do not mind putting in a cloud system. Some people may have the thought on privacy… or you can setup your own storage systems and make it exclusive for your own access.

I do not know about you… every time I do housekeeping (clean up) of my table or closet… the after effect is really fantastic! A sense of achievement and control plus getting rid of stuffs that are taking up space. At times you may find things that you thought are lost… interesting. Schedule some time to do housekeeping.

Use web or mobile Apps to help you to get organised. My favourite will be Google Calendar for all my activities, appointments and reminders. Trello as my to do and project info app and notes in my phone to keep important information that I can refer to when needed. I am sure there are a lot of great apps out there. What are the apps that you use? Please share with me, so that I can learn to use the app as well.

Certain tasks can be delegated. Before delegating, we have to ensure that the person we are delegating the task to, knows what to do and is ready to take on the load. Show concern by following up and have constant communication (not micro-managing) to see if any help is needed.

According to David Allen from his book Getting Things Done…

https://gettingthingsdone.com/books/

You can find out more about the book from the link above 🙂

Anything that can be done in 2 minutes or less… do it NOW! Be productive and just do it, not procrastinate.

Keep inventory of your stuffs… books, gadgets, cables, work props, etc. Before buying any extra stuffs, go through your inventory check list. Practice the “one in, one out” approach. Anything that you are going to buy, before buying, get rid of one item first… (I am still building my habit around this, not easy and it really make sense!)

To add-on to inventory, when you have stuffs in boxes… it will be a good practice to label the boxes on what is inside the box. Labelling can help us to be more organised and knowing how to group the stuffs that can be grouped in the same box or area.

Image result for meme get organized

Make your life simpler by UNSUBSCRIBING the newsletters, emails or marketing campaigns that you do not really read or want to waste time on. Just learn to say no and you will be surprised by how much time you can save in doing that. Not to worry, you can subscribe again to any of the ones you have unsubscribed earlier, correct?

Last night, my wife mentioned to me that there is a lady (that she followed in Instagram) who practiced having a box by the door and anything that she feels she is not using often or want to give away, she will put them in the box and when the box is full, she will donate the things away. Learn to discard and donate the things that you do not really use. Make some other people who need the things happier.

There is a place for everything… make it a good habit to allocate places for your things. Example; wallet, watches, spectacles, keys… they have their rightful place. I save a lot of time and have a peace of mind, knowing where the things are…

Getting organised, in my humble opinion, starts from PLANNING. Having clear thoughts, putting it on paper (will make it clearer) and having a check list to pack for travelling helps to avoid not having important things for the travel… like one of my mentors shared with me, “a short pencil is better than a long memory…”

Anyway, as we are humans, we may some times overlook certain things… just enjoy the journey and learn to better continuously. Start with one or two tips above and discover how your life can be better by being organised. I am also learning to be more organised, let’s DO IT TOGETHER!

For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned.” 

“Your habits, your future!”

Essential Coaching Habits

“Coaching is leading with curiosity…”

Since I started with coaching certification training, executive coaching and group coaching journey… there are many questions on what a coach should do and what are the best practices for a coach to follow?

There are many school of thoughts when it comes to coaching and there are also many professional bodies around this subject on coaching.

I am not here to say that what I know is the best, whatever I am sharing is just my own thoughts and opinions. Please feel free to make any changes to your own styles and practices. My intention is to add value to what you have already known and practicing. Contact me and we can have further discussions and who knows, I can also learn from you as well. I have this believe that, as leaders, we are constantly learning new things in our journey in life or at work.

“It’s important to work hard, stay humble, and not let the criticism or the compliments go to your head.” – Jessica Sanchez

Anyone or any organizations that are practicing coaching, this article is dedicated to you… based on what I have learned from many gurus, practitioners and learners. Even a coach needs to be coached. As long as we are learning, we are growing, improving to be a better leader.

Image result for coaching meme

I would like to make it simple for all of us to remember the key habits when it comes to coaching. Let’s focus on the three -(3) key habits, the Essential Coaching Habits

Image result for three key points

YES! Only three -(3) key habits and here they are;

Habit #1: INTENT

What is your intention and purpose to coach this client / coachee / person?
We can learn from Simon Sinek from one of his great books…

As a coach, we need to ensure that our intention is right. When our “WHY” is right, the “HOW” and the “WHAT” will be in place.
In my humble opinion, this Habit #1: INTENT is the starting point to any coaching success. As a coach, our main INTENT is to make our client / coachee successful. It is all about them and our role is to be focusing on their goal(s) and partnering (accountability) with them to their journey in accomplishing their goals to results realization. At the back of our head, with the INTENT, the questions that we ask will be somehow pointing to their goal(s) and that is what is we want. Then comes Habit #2.

Habit #2: CURIOSITY

“Be lazy, be curious, be often…”
– Michael Bungay Stanier

A lot of times, as leaders, we tend to tell (advise, guide, share experience) our people what to do and that is more of mentoring. Even during coaching, we have some hard time adjusting to this new habit of asking questions. We cannot stand silence and the quality of questions we asked were towards leading the client / coachee to the path that we want them to journey on.

Many of the participants who attended the coaching certification program have asked me, “What are the tip for asking great questions?”

That is why this Habit #2: CURIOSITY is the key… when we have the right INTENT and combined with CURIOSITY, the quality of questions asked will be great. As coaches, we want to help and support our client / coachee to be more successful in getting results and we are curious in terms of how they can achieve their goals and what they are going to do to accomplish them.

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YES! Leaders are learners… we want to learn about our clients / coachees. How to make them more successful. When they get the results, the will be MORE MOTIVATED! That leads us to Habit #3: OUTCOME

Habit #3: OUTCOME

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What we can learn from Anthony Robbins’ Success Cycle model… when the client / coachee achieve results, their belief / certainty (motivation) will increase. If you can see from the illustration above, what leads to results will be ACTION and as what Tony mentioned, “MASSIVE ACTION!!”

Then as a coach what is our role? Habit #3: OUTCOME is all about us coaches having the right INTENT with CURIOSITY, asking the right questions to assist our client / coachee to obtain the OUTCOME which will be ACTION STEPS. When both the coach and client / coachee are clear about the goal(s), the questions that we ask will point to HOW and WHAT the client / coachee will ACTION to get the results or moving them on the right path in achieving the results. Automatically when the client / coachee is moving towards their direction in achieving their goal(s) or best when they achieve results, they will be more fulfilled, motivated and happier.

“Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result. “
– Oscar Wilde

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There you go… the Essential Coaching Habits. I strongly believe that if we are able to practice these three -(3) Coaching Habits;

Habit #1: INTENT
Habit #2: CURIOSITY
Habit #3: OUTCOME

We will be able to help more people to be SUCCESSFUL. Like what I normally share with my client / coachee / participants…

“When you are successful, I will be successful too…”

“Please DO NOT FORGET ME when you are successful… hahaha”

Thank you.

“Your habits, your future!”

Learning from Microsoft’s CEO…

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“Be passionate and bold. Always keep learning. You stop doing useful things if you don’t learn.” – Satya Nadella

My ex-colleague from one of the training providers, who is based in Vietnam has introduced this book, “Hit Refresh” to me. The one that he read was in Vietnamese language. The last time he came to Penang, when we were at one of the major book stores… he said to me… “Dion, this book (where he pointed to at one of the book racks in the shop) is a good read… I read it in Vietnamese and I highly recommend it to you…”

Yup, I bought a few books that day and one of them… “Hit Refresh” by Satya Nadella. My ex-colleague was right… it is definitely a good book to read and I have picked up some key learning from the book; which I will share later in this blog.

If you are interested to know about the book review, please visit Amazon with the link below:

I have captured a few key learning from the book and I would like to share my favorites with you…

(1) Investment Strategy across 3 Growth Horizons

This model, I believe can be used by organizations to understand and strategize better. You just need a good facilitator to help with the session for your key leaders.

(2) Microsoft’s 3 C’s

Easy and straight-forward; covering three major focus for the organization’s sustainable growth. Can be a good reflection and discussion to test for readiness before implementing any new innovation.

(3) Satya’s Mental Model

How as a new CEO of a major organization focused on Value Creation. if we study the model, 3 out of 4 are focusing on people… I strongly believe that leadership is influence. How does one influence others to work with you and strive for excellence?

“Success can cause people to unlearn the habits that made them successful in the first place.” – Satya Nadella

Well, the key learning above that I have shared is important and another crucial learning that I have learnt from Satya is that, as leaders, we need to be humble and practice empathy; when we have the interest to seek to understanding others, we can build better trust that leads to strong relationship and influence.

Enjoy reading the book and let me know what you think. Looking forward to learning from you.

Have a great journey in learning.

“Your habits, your future!”

Habit of Asking Questions

“Asking questions is the first way to begin change.” – Kubra Sait

Happy New Year 2019!

Today I have been given the opportunity by my mentor, coach and a friend to share with his team on the topic… “Questioning Techniques”.

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The session went well… how do I know? I believe when the participants (almost all of them), came to me at the end of the session and shook my hand… it was a good feeling. I have given my best with the available resources that I have during the session.

Why ask questions? I have shared with the participants, asking questions mean we have to learn how to listen, understand (empathize) and learn about the answers from the people that we are engaging with. Especially when you want to be a better leader / coach.

I did an activity on asking closed questions and from my observations, they looked irritated as they could not get to the bottom of the story. Closed questions can only provide partial discovery and will take a long time to get to the point of full discovery. Hence, it will be better to learn how to ask more open questions to get the overall picture and mixed with closed questions to clarify any uncertainty.

“The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge.” – Thomas Berger

Shared with the participants two good books that I have read on asking questions…

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Are you getting the results you want in business and in life? How about a higher income, improved health, more productive relationships? Could asking questions be the “magic bullet” that enables you to achieve the success you’ve always wanted but may have never believed possible? 
In Just Ask! renowned peak performance expert Bill McGrane III teaches you how to…

Ask the five most effective types of questions.
Move forward by first asking yourself the right questions.
More effectively influence and lead others.
Decrease rejection and increase productivity.
Improve communication personally and professionally.
Dissolve conflict and improve relationships.
Use the Colombo Close…and much more.

Master the art of asking questions and you’ll have developed a powerful tool for creating more successful, mutually beneficial relationships. You’ll build rapport more effectively than ever – bolstering your persuasive power, creating greater success.

Source: https://www.amazon.com/Just-Ask-Bill-McGrane-III-ebook/dp/B00267RU4Y

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Questions are at the core of how we listen, behave, think, and relate–as individuals and organizations. Virtually everything we think and do is generated by questions. Questions push us into new territories. The future begins with our thinking, represented by the questions we ask ourselves.

“”Change Your Questions, Change Your Life”” shows readers how to consistently choose the questions that can lead them to success, both personally and professionally. This technique, called “”QuestionsThinking,”” stimulates innovation, accelerate productivity, and create more rewarding relationships.

“”Change Your Questions, Change Your Life”” is a personal growth fable that tells how a seasoned executive, Ben Knight, uses QuestionThinking to move into a higher leadership role and how the same methods of change help him and his wife, Grace, enrich their marriage.

Source: https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Questions-Life-Institute/dp/1576756009

Happy reading!

The participants have a lot of potential yet to be unleashed. I really look forward to them perfect practicing what they have learnt from the short workshop session today.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” – Voltaire

There is so much for us to learn, we just need to have the habit of being curious.

“Your habits, your future!”

8 Steps to Successful Change

One of the books that I enjoyed reading, a fable-based book and great learning as well.

The book titled “Our Iceberg is Melting – Changing and Succeeding Under Any Conditions” by John Kotter and Holger Rathgeber. The book is available at Amazon.com…

The synopsis from Amazon:

Our Iceberg Is Melting is a simple story about doing well under the stress and uncertainty of rapid change. Based on the award-winning work of Harvard Business School’s John Kotter, it can help you and your colleagues thrive during tough times.

On an iceberg near the coast of Antarctica, group of beautiful emperor pen­guins live as they have for many years. Then one curious bird discovers a potentially devastating problem threatening their home—and almost no one listens to him.

The characters in the story—Fred, Alice, Louis, Buddy, the Professor, and NoNo—are like people you probably recognize in your own organization, including yourself. Their tale is one of resistance to change and heroic action, seemingly intractable obstacles and clever tactics for dealing with those obstacles. The penguins offer an inspiring model as we all struggle to adapt to new circumstances.

Our Iceberg Is Melting is based on John Kotter’s pioneer­ing research into the eight steps that can produce needed change in any sort of group. After finishing the story, you’ll have a powerful framework for influencing your own team, no matter how big or small.

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I believe different people will learn differently from the book. Depending on the different states we are in, at the time reading the book.

As for me, I have gathered good tips in practicing a successful change. In my own understanding (adapted from the book), the steps are shared as below:

Making it Possible

  • Identify a trigger to make it urgent and important; what needs to be changed immediately?
  • Setup a support team (inner circle); the power of group with the ability to lead, communicate, good branding, skills to analyse, decisive, proactive and focus on priorities.

Make a decision

  • Decide on the well formed outcome; with the right vision, goals, strategies and tactics. Journey to making a reality for yourself.

Massive Actions

  • Understand what is needed and the price to pay for embarking on the change project…
  • Overcome and remove the barriers stopping or slowing you down.
  • Go for low hanging fruits and get results as soon as possible in the short term.
  • Be aware of initial success and keep going (do not be distracted). Do it until you get the desired results…

Sustainability

  • Make it a habit culture… keep repeating the right action to produce the desired results (repeatedly).

Rest if you must… keep going and you will achieve the results that you want.

“Your habits, your future!”