Category: Coaching and Mentoring

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Embracing Transformation: Lessons from “The Earned Life” by Marshall Goldsmith

“We are living an earned life when the choices, risks, and effort we make in each moment align with an overarching purpose in our lives, regardless of the eventual outcome.”

Today, I want to share my learning journey through the pages of “The Earned Life” by the insightful Marshall Goldsmith. So, grab a cup of your favourite brew, settle in, and let’s embark on this inspiring and life-altering experience.

Good Moments:

First and foremost, let me share with you the beautiful moments I’ve experienced while immersing myself in this profound book. Marshall’s wisdom is akin to a guiding light that leads us through the intricate labyrinth of life. His words resonate with a clarity that makes you feel like you’re engaged in a heart-to-heart conversation with a mentor and a friend. This book not only offers insight but a fresh perspective on the idea of what it means to truly earn a life of profound meaning, purpose, and boundless fulfilment.

Not so Good Moments:

Of course, it’s not always a path strewn with rose petals and sunshine. There have been moments when I’ve recognised the Herculean challenge it can be to let go of old habits and embrace new ones. Marshall’s insights often serve as a mirror, reflecting the ingrained behaviours that might be holding us back. Acknowledging these tendencies can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s precisely these moments of realisation that pave the way for growth. After all, personal growth isn’t always a smooth ride, right?

Personal Growth and Gratitude:

My journey through the pages of “The Earned Life” has been nothing short of an awakening. It’s been a voyage of self-discovery, unearthing the patterns in my life and the behaviours that might need a tweak. It’s a humbling experience, recognising that we all have room for improvement. I’m profoundly grateful for the opportunity to learn from such a respected coach and author. It’s a privilege to have access to Marshall’s wisdom, and I can’t help but express gratitude for the transformation it has initiated within me.

Key Takeaways:

As I reflect on this profound reading journey, I’ve identified some priceless lessons that I’m eager to carry forward:

Daily Self-Reflection
Marshall’s advice on daily questions for self-reflection is a game-changer. It’s the small, consistent steps that pave the way for monumental personal growth.

Behavioural Change
Embracing change is a significant aspect of the “Earned Life.” It’s about consciously choosing behaviors that align with your goals and values, making every moment count.

Helping Others
Marshall’s emphasis on contributing to the lives of those around us is a gentle reminder that a life well-earned involves making a positive impact on the world.

Future Goals:

So, what’s next? I’m excited to integrate these profound learnings into the fabric of my daily life. I plan to cultivate the habit of self-reflection, committing to purposeful behavioural change each day. Additionally, I aspire to extend my gratitude by helping and making a positive impact on others, just as Marshall recommends. This is not just a set of goals; it’s a pledge to lead a life that’s truly earned.

In closing, I’m thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow from “The Earned Life” by Marshall Goldsmith. It’s not just a book; it’s a companion on our life’s journey toward a more meaningful and earned existence. So, I wholeheartedly encourage you to pick it up if you haven’t already. Here’s to learning, growing, and embracing the wisdom that helps us lead a life we’ve genuinely earned, one moment at a time.

Marshall Goldsmith’s wisdom is an endless source of inspiration. As he beautifully puts it, “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

May we all choose growth, and may our earned lives be a testament to the transformation that’s possible when we dare to embrace change and live with purpose. Cheers to a journey of meaningful transformations and to Marshall Goldsmith for being a guiding light on this path of profound personal development!

“Your habits, your future!”

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Questions to Ponder Part 1

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco

Any questions ? - Tony Stark Eye Roll | Make a Meme

During the month of June, my buddy and I have done the TIK4TIPs chit chat show based on the daily questions that I have for reflection purposes. In this blog (part 1), I will share five -(5) questions for this part as the show was from Monday to Friday and we did total of 25 shows for Season 1. It was a fulfilling and meaningful journey.

Now that I am not doing the Live Show, I will put down my thoughts and answers based on my reflection. Thank you for ready and I look forward to all of us who read to get some ideas / wisdom to help with our lives’ journey.

GUYS!! ARE YOU READY!!! LET'S DO THIS - Spartan300 | Meme Generator

Question #1:
What is new normal to you?

The new normal to me will be doing most of my work via online platform. Since March 2020 until recently (beginning July 2020), all face-to-face training sessions were cancelled; a few changed to online / virtual training and mostly postponed until further notice (most of the multi-nationals still prefer virtual training).

Another will be wearing mask when going out to public locations, practicing social distancing… people will not be able to see your smile and not able to shake hands when meeting.

Say new normal again! say it! | Make a Meme

As a family, we used to eat out almost every weekend and with the movement control order (MCO), I cooked for my family for more than 90 days and have discovered new recipes, improved my cooking skills plus getting to know my family’s food preference better.

My wife also ventured into planting edible greens… our house porch area is full of pots and plants now… waiting to harvest and enjoy the produce of her labour, haha.

Question #2:
How do you move to the next level?

“The journey is never ending. There’s always gonna be growth, improvement, adversity; you just gotta take it all in and do what’s right, continue to grow, continue to live in the moment.” – Antonio Brown

What does next level mean to you?

To me, it simply means, better than yesterday. Have you improved, grown and being better that who you were before? Life is about continuous improvement journey and discovering what you are able to learn / do… a blessing!

It can be simply having better relationship with your loved ones or people close to you. A wider coverage of network; clients, partners, business contacts and opportunities.

Growing spiritually, understanding your own calling, serving the community, doing charity or helping people around you… do whatever that make you feel alive.

Depending on the priority of the individual, to some, next level could be the business / career, and to a few, it could be having the financial stability or overall wellness / lifestyle.

Which area in your life you would want to focus on right now to be better?

Excited About Growth! - Oprah Winfrey "You Get a Car" | Make a Meme

Question #3:
What is your purpose in life?

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” – Winston S. Churchill

In terms of purpose, it will be very subjective, different people will have different views and why they are living their lives.

I have discovered my purpose and it goes like this:

“My purpose is to inspire and develop leaders to reach their highest potential for God.” (I only discovered my purpose about 10 years ago when a good friend of mine were curious about my career, he sat down with me and started asking me a series of questions that triggered me, to realize my purpose in life).

Once I have decided and have clarity about my WHY, I am more willing to pay the price on the choices that I make (or will make). I truly believe that anything that is worthwhile pursuing, there will be a price to pay, when we are more willing to pay the price, the journey will be somewhat easier.

I would highly recommend for anyone to invest some time to reflect and find out the WHY?

What Is My Purpose GIFs | Tenor

Question #4:
How do you free yourself from worry?

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” – Swedish Proverb

Just yesterday I had a conversation with a potential client (the client is looking for a life coach) and through our conversation, some how I mentioned that we worry and feel the pain due to we are alive to feel it. It’s part of our live journey and some will lead to more serious health issues (if not treated).

I used to be a worrier and I would be lying if I were to tell you that I am free of worry now. The difference now, I have ways to deal with my worries. Some of the methods I am using to be worry-free will be as below:

  • Write down my thoughts, all the issues and all that I am thinking off – that will help to clarify my thoughts. What are the resources needed to solve the issues? What are the priorities? If any of the issues are future related, what do I need to do to prepare for them? How can I prepare, to minimize the impact and get the expected outcome?
  • Have a chat / conversation with someone that I can trust, can be my loved ones, my coach or mentor… they may provide some insights and triggering questions. All that will be “gold nuggets” to me!
  • Pray and meditate… I believe that, when we are ready for something bigger, we will be presented with opportunities. We will have to accept the challenge and grab to opportunities – then the journey of discovery starts. Be thankful and practice the attitude of gratitude (instead of worry).

“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere” – Erma Bombeck

Don't Worry About It - Worry GIF - Worry DontWorryAboutIt Drums ...

Question #5:
What are you doing to develop yourself?

“Life is growth. If we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead.” – Morihei Ueshiba

Be Realistic | As Told By Nicki

Everyday is a learning and we learn (experience) in different aspects of our lives. What are the areas you would like to focus on to develop?

In most of my leadership workshop sessions, I will share with the participants that the word, “LEADER” comes from two -(2) words; “LEARNER” and “READER“… a leader is a learner and reader… then ultimately, the leader becomes an “EARNER” – earning knowledge, skills and learning perspectives from the resources.

There are many great resources that we can learn from… below are some of them that I am utilizing:

  • Books and E-Books – library, buy my own, from contacts or internet. My recommendation is to buy own book as at different times of our lives, when we read the same book, we get different learning (as we mature and have grown in wisdom, thus the learning we seek will be different).
  • Internet – Google, YouTube, Social Media – all the good and bad will be available, it will be up to us to filter what we want to learn and prioritize.
  • People, contacts, networks – by having conversation, coaching or mentoring session.
  • Reflection or feedback – we can reflect on our own experience or feedback from the people that we trust and respect (in my humble opinion, not all feedback is relevant to us).
  • Media – magazines, TV, radio… we will need to filter in accordance to what we want to learn and whether it is positive or not.

There are many resources that we can learn from, it’s a matter of our preferences.

“The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you.” – B. B. King

learning Memes & GIFs - Imgflip

Well, that is all for part 1 for now. Happy ready and let me know if you have any extras that you would like to share. I would like to learn from you too.

Stay healthy and safe.

Have a fruitful week ahead.

“Your habits, your future!”

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Life of a Trainer, Facilitator and Coach (Survey)

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

Last year I did a survey (for fun) to get some inputs from my friends who are in the professional development industry. Their experience as a trainer, facilitator and coach / mentor are ranging from two -(2) to twenty five -(25) years. I have a lot of respect for them and I am glad that they are my friends. Thank you for all your inputs… you know who you are!!

At times, I received some questions on how to be a trainer or coach and I look forward to this sharing to answer some of that questions that one has pertaining to this industry. Well, you can always invite my friends or me for coffee to discuss or brainstorm further…

Without further delay, please find outcome of the survey…

(1) Why are you doing this?

  • To leave a legacy behind that I have touched and transformed people positively worldwide.
  • As a Coach I can support young people to find their life purpose and develop their competency to success in VUCA World.
  • I love doing this because my passion is to impart knowledge in the most simple, engaging and connected manner.
  • Doable Business
  • My passion and helping people
  • Passion
  • Self-satisfaction, Giving Back to Society
  • Is something I am passionate about and a journey of learning for both.
  • Out of passion
  • To inspire people to do their best to strive
  • it fulfills my passion of helping people think better

As for me, my life purpose is “To inspire and develop leaders to reach their highest potential, for God.”

(2) What is the most memorable experience in training or coaching? (feel free to share more than one)

  • After more than 15 years people still remember on the impact I created in their life
    When people say that I make them feel great about themselves
    When people say that they become better because of my teachings
  • I helped an entrepreneur of a construction company to turnaround his business by just developing the leader inside him (learn how to lead self, influence people, listen more and treat employees the way they want by learning their love languages). And this is a volunteer project for SME community.
  • When your participants give you a round of applause not only at the end of the training (usually 2 days) but at the end of the first day! Nothing beats that feeling of satisfaction.
  • The feeling of HIGH @ the end of program
  • When participants/clients change for the positive, and appreciative of our coaching/training
  • Seeing lives transformed for the better
  • Your participants remembering you , when it has slipped your memory
  • When I know I have made some difference in the organization striving for betterment
  • I remember the first time my participant told me that it made his life better, at work and with his family… the joy I had to continue my journey as a trainer/coach/sharing/mentor was a breeze.
  • 1. The person coached performed outstandingly and received a double promotion.
    2. The whole branch performance turned around from red to black within 3 months when the HQ management gave them 1 year.
    3. 14 bank branches increased sales in all their identified weak portfolios in less than 2 quarters with a minimum increase of 25%. The list goes on……..
  • Participant remembered what you taught them and applied practically in life and workplace
  • When I got feedback from a participant how she applied the insights and also share the insights with her colleagues who also benefited from the learning

As for me, all of the above and more, when you know are able to make a difference in lives… every session is different and not everyone in that session will apply what they learned. I am just looking for one person, one life to inspire… I trust there will be one every time!

(3) What is your favourite quote?

  • Choose to Lead, once a while learn to follow
  • “Live a life you want. Do not care too much on how people think about you”~ my quote:)”
  • “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment” Jim Rohn
  • Knowing is not doing
  • For things to change for you, you have to change first yourself.
  • The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.
  • “We are all learners, and that is the way to grow positively”.
  • Too many to recall. 8 truth of life by Abdul Kalam is a good guide for me
  • All that is not given, is lost!
  • Follow Your Passions And Success Will Follow
  • The purpose of the body is to carry the brain

My favourite quote will be the quote I share with everybody… “Your habits, your future!”

(4) Who are your role models?

  • Jesus Christ, MGR, Konosuke Matsushita, My Parents, My wife
  • Jeff Bezos; Warren Buffet; Steve Jobs
  • Barrack Obama – His Leadership Traits Anyone with patience and perseverance
  • Myself
  • Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jack Ma
  • Jack Canfield, John Maxwell, Robin Sharma, Marshall Goldsmith, Dr Peter Chee and others.
  • My First Head of Department (1977)
  • My prophet
  • I am my own
  • Tony Robbins
  • My parents

I have many role models, Jesus Christ, my parents, my mentors, coaches, my wife and even my kids… I am really learning from them!

(5) What are the titles of your favourite books?

  • How to win friends and influence people
    How to stop worrying and start living
    Think and Grow Rich
  • Coaching & Mentoring for Breakthrough Success; Value Investment; The Power of Think Difference; Sapiens.
  • The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey
    How Successful People Think: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life – John Maxwell
  • Purpose Driven Life
  • Simplify, The Power of Habits, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Mindset…etc
  • Too many to recall….To Kill A Mocking Bird . My Family & Other Animals.
  • Quran
    A balance life Nutrition immunology by Dr Chen
    Art of war
  • You’ll See It When You Believe It.
  • Change your habit Change your world
  • Mindset, Start with Why, Leaders Eat Last, Rewire

Mine will be… easy… all of the above, haha!

(6) Any advice or tips for one who wants to start as a trainer or coach?

  • Pursue excellence in training by being a role model
  • You must love what you do and do what you love.
  • Be genuinely passionate about everything you do… and you will see the miracle happen.
  • Be transparent and creative
  • If you aren’t passionate enough, and wanting to be a coach or trainer because you see/admire/envy others having the income or the lifestyle, then don’t do it. You must have the love for people in order for you to go far in this industry. Also, it starts from yourself. You need to keep learning, improving and change. Role modeling and walking the talk is very important.
  • Educate yourself first.Open Minded, Live Long Learning
  • Match it with your passion. Training can be in many areas
  • Have a whole lot of passion.
    Love what you do and do what you love!
  • Doing what you are passionate about is more important
  • Know what you want to focus and excel in and why you want to do it

If you do it as your work, it will be tedious… if it’s play… everyday is a fun day!

“Difficult and meaningful will always bring more satisfaction than easy and meaningless.” – Maxime Lagacé

“Your habits, your future!”

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Essential Coaching Habits

“Coaching is leading with curiosity…”

Since I started with coaching certification training, executive coaching and group coaching journey… there are many questions on what a coach should do and what are the best practices for a coach to follow?

There are many school of thoughts when it comes to coaching and there are also many professional bodies around this subject on coaching.

I am not here to say that what I know is the best, whatever I am sharing is just my own thoughts and opinions. Please feel free to make any changes to your own styles and practices. My intention is to add value to what you have already known and practicing. Contact me and we can have further discussions and who knows, I can also learn from you as well. I have this believe that, as leaders, we are constantly learning new things in our journey in life or at work.

“It’s important to work hard, stay humble, and not let the criticism or the compliments go to your head.” – Jessica Sanchez

Anyone or any organizations that are practicing coaching, this article is dedicated to you… based on what I have learned from many gurus, practitioners and learners. Even a coach needs to be coached. As long as we are learning, we are growing, improving to be a better leader.

Image result for coaching meme

I would like to make it simple for all of us to remember the key habits when it comes to coaching. Let’s focus on the three -(3) key habits, the Essential Coaching Habits…

Image result for three key points

YES! Only three -(3) key habits and here they are;

Habit #1: INTENT

What is your intention and purpose to coach this client / coachee / person?
We can learn from Simon Sinek from one of his great books…

As a coach, we need to ensure that our intention is right. When our “WHY” is right, the “HOW” and the “WHAT” will be in place.
In my humble opinion, this Habit #1: INTENT is the starting point to any coaching success. As a coach, our main INTENT is to make our client / coachee successful. It is all about them and our role is to be focusing on their goal(s) and partnering (accountability) with them to their journey in accomplishing their goals to results realization. At the back of our head, with the INTENT, the questions that we ask will be somehow pointing to their goal(s) and that is what is we want. Then comes Habit #2.

Habit #2: CURIOSITY

“Be lazy, be curious, be often…”
– Michael Bungay Stanier

A lot of times, as leaders, we tend to tell (advise, guide, share experience) our people what to do and that is more of mentoring. Even during coaching, we have some hard time adjusting to this new habit of asking questions. We cannot stand silence and the quality of questions we asked were towards leading the client / coachee to the path that we want them to journey on.

Many of the participants who attended the coaching certification program have asked me, “What are the tip for asking great questions?”

That is why this Habit #2: CURIOSITY is the key… when we have the right INTENT and combined with CURIOSITY, the quality of questions asked will be great. As coaches, we want to help and support our client / coachee to be more successful in getting results and we are curious in terms of how they can achieve their goals and what they are going to do to accomplish them.

Image result for stay hungry stay foolish

YES! Leaders are learners… we want to learn about our clients / coachees. How to make them more successful. When they get the results, the will be MORE MOTIVATED! That leads us to Habit #3: OUTCOME

Habit #3: OUTCOME

Image result for success cycle tony robbins model

What we can learn from Anthony Robbins’ Success Cycle model… when the client / coachee achieve results, their belief / certainty (motivation) will increase. If you can see from the illustration above, what leads to results will be ACTION and as what Tony mentioned, “MASSIVE ACTION!!”

Then as a coach what is our role? Habit #3: OUTCOME is all about us coaches having the right INTENT with CURIOSITY, asking the right questions to assist our client / coachee to obtain the OUTCOME which will be ACTION STEPS. When both the coach and client / coachee are clear about the goal(s), the questions that we ask will point to HOW and WHAT the client / coachee will ACTION to get the results or moving them on the right path in achieving the results. Automatically when the client / coachee is moving towards their direction in achieving their goal(s) or best when they achieve results, they will be more fulfilled, motivated and happier.

“Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result. “
– Oscar Wilde

Image result for gratitude meme

There you go… the Essential Coaching Habits. I strongly believe that if we are able to practice these three -(3) Coaching Habits;

Habit #1: INTENT
Habit #2: CURIOSITY
Habit #3: OUTCOME

We will be able to help more people to be SUCCESSFUL. Like what I normally share with my client / coachee / participants…

“When you are successful, I will be successful too…”

“Please DO NOT FORGET ME when you are successful… hahaha”

Thank you.

“Your habits, your future!”

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Triggered by Coaching

“Coaching helps you take stock of where you are now in all aspects of your life, and how that compares to where you would like to be.”
– Elaine MacDonald

Good day folks!
The other day I was having a coaching session and as I was listening, asking questions then jotting down the key points the client was sharing with me… and when the session ended, it suddenly dawned upon me that I am the one needed to do what the client was supposed to carry out as the action steps.

It was like an “A-HA” moment and how the light bulb lit up! It seems that coaching has lots of benefits, not only for the client… for the coach as well. That day, I know I was the one who benefited from the session. The questions asked to the client and the responds from the client has some how triggered my thinking… the inner part of myself. The action that I was supposed to perform. It was really an exciting discovery and how I was motivated to put the action into place!

Image result for take action meme

I believe coaching can help many people to realize their goals and get the results that they want. As mentioned, coaching is a conversation and not all the time we can have such conversation. Especially when there is a crisis…

“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen. ”
– Pete Carroll

There are different school of thoughts. When I was working in my previous company, the way I did coaching was different from what I am doing today. I am more comfortable with the manner I am practicing today. Today, the definition of coaching for me is to unleash the best potential and inspiring the client to take action to achieve the results with accountability. The reason why coaching works is that the coach and the client are accountable to one another through the journey of achieving the results the client has set as the goal.

What are the benefits of coaching?

  1. Coaching draws out insights and learning from the client. This gets the client to be clearer, committed, motivated and action oriented.
  2. It is an engaging and active process to journey with the client. When done right, the client will feel good after the session with a sense of direction and clear list of action to perform.
  3. Coaching is personalized and tuned to the communication manner suited both the coach and the client. Especially when the chemistry and trust is present during the conversation.
  4. Clarity and understanding that leads to better ownership in getting results.
  5. Satisfaction of achieving the results with own hard work and time invested.
  6. The returns can be high and rewarding (although most of it is intangible).
  7. Coaching encourages for the client to be thinking deeper, more creative and with the right actions, leading to innovation.
  8. Both the coach and client learn and feel fulfilled.
  9. It can be very flexible using different channels of communication and more responsive approach to development.
  10. Coaching can be appropriate leadership style and cultivated as a good culture for the organization.

Here you go folks, the benefits of coaching… I believe many people have benefited from coaching as I am one of them.

There are many great resources as reference to better understand coaching. Should you need more information or any resources, please feel free to contact me.

Have a great week ahead!

“Your habits, your future!”

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Providing the fish versus teaching you how to fish

 

As I was going through some of my old short articles and collection of quotes (that motivates and provides me the wisdom), I came across this ancient Chinese quotes:

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

A lot of people (including my old self) want to be given the fish (if possible for FREE! anything that is free will be good… at least it’s provided for…)

Then the thought of this question came to me… “Why settled for limited fish?”

Isn’t it better to learn how to fish, therefore you can fish (catch) as much as you want, right?

We all have the choice to learn from successful people who have experienced in fishing and now turned professional fishermen/women. In fact, we should be paying them to learn from them.

Image result for memes on fishing

Another quotes that I find relevant… “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear…”

What if, one day, a professional fisherman/woman offers to teach you how to fish and the secrets of catching fish abundantly… will you accept him/her as your coach/mentor?

Or will you give excuses that you are too busy, (no time), not interested, not in a hurry or whatever the excuses may be!!

Image result for memes on priorities

Of course I am not talking about the real fishing… it’s a metaphor that I am using to represent opportunities.

“Life is short, once the opportunity is gone, it’s gone…” 

Life is too short and it is better for one to live life to the fullest and not hoping that life will be better (sitting and waiting for things to happen…)

When we reach a certain point in life and look back… will we say to ourselves… “WOW! I’M GLAD I DID…” or “OH DEAR! HOW I WISH I HAD!”

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” ~ Og Mandino

If we have not given our best, we have not lived!

There are many ways to learn “fishing”, please find some of the ways that I believe will work if you put some heart into it…

  1. Look for a coach/mentor and engage him/her to UNLEASH the potential in us.
  2. Find and make the time to read, we can start with 5 minutes and gradually increase it to more.
  3. Attend training, workshops, seminar, conferences, networking events; get to know people and talk to them. A lot can be learned when our mind is open.
  4. Have an inner circle of great friends (from different industries) having the same values. Napoleon Hill called it “Mastermind Group”. To find out more, you can visit Jack Canfield’s site: http://jackcanfield.com/blog/mastermind-group/ 
  5. Be curious and have the hunger to learn… we can always do our own research via the internet, magazines, audiobooks, e-books and many more resources around us. We just have to make time to invest in this activity.

I strongly believe that, the more we do (and learn), the better we get.

My own definition of a LEADER is a combination of two words, LEARNER and READER.

The more we LEARN, the more we EARN (knowledge and skills).

Thank you for investing your time in reading. Please do share with me if you have some learning points and tips.

 

“Your habits, your future!”