Tag: daily

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Communication habits

“Communication is the response you get…”

The quote is one of the NLP presuppositions that I have learnt from my certification program. Yes, we communicate everyday and we get all sorts of responses as well.

Another favourite of mine is…

“You cannot NOT communicate!”

During my training workshops, I will ask the participants (especially to those who are married)… “what will happen if you do not communicate with your spouse for a week?”

Most of them will answer… “you will sleep outdoor…” “that’s the end of you…” haha all interesting answers.

In this blog, I would like to share some good communication practices and habits.

Please feel free to share your thoughts as I believe I am still learning and we are in this learning journey together.

Here it goes…

  • being congruent

How are you being consistent with your words, the way you say it and body language? Are you in harmony with your intention and action?

Trust is congruence between what you say and what you do. – Peter Drucker

  • Attunement

When communicate with others, how aware are you with their responses? How is the receiver learning? What method will be effective for them to learn faster? Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic?

We each have a sixth sense that is attuned to the oneness dimension in life, providing a means for us to guide our lives in accord with our ideas. – Henry Reed

  • Listening

How are you listening?

We can learn from the late Stephen Covey… “listening with the intent to understand…”

it will be challenging to listen effectively when you have filters. We start judging and jumping into conclusion… definitely not helping us nor achieving good rapport with the speaker.

Awareness and mindfulness to perfect practice empathy… listening to emotions in the tone and physiology… may not be easy at first, it requires a lot of conscious effort plus practices to make it into a good habit.

Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike. – Daniel Goleman

  • 5 second rule

Happened to come across this learning from the book… “To sell is human” by Daniel Pink. A good book to read for leaders. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1594631905/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_alMrDbZZH9BHC

In summary, let’s wait for 5 seconds to ensure that others have finished with what they have to say… then we can reply. Pause and silent is one of the powerful tools in communication.

Silence is one of the great arts of conversation. – Marcus Tullius Cicero

  • Ask one question at a time

Our brains works fast and we may have lots to say or ask… to be effective, learn to focus on one question at a time. Let the receiver understand and internalise what you are asking, let them have the opportunity to answer with better comprehension of your question.

Avoid asking “nested questions”… question within a question or too many questions at one go…

The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. – Bruce Lee

  • It’s the manner not the matter

Communication is how we deliver the message not only the message nor it’s meaning.

Even if it’s not so good news delivered in a right manner, trumps good news delivered inappropriately…

Better good manners than good looks. – Proverb

  • Avoiding sarcasm nor assumptions

Usage of words and how you say them is important. What I’ve learnt when providing feedback and not to sound sarcastic nor implying that the receiver is at fault… usage of “I” rather than “you” will be recommended. “You” sounded more like placing the person as the attention of the conversation and may cause them to feel at fault.

Ask questions, don’t make assumptions. – Angela Ahrendts

  • Begin and end with positive

Imagine when you start on a journey with positive… a good start and everything will be better… the feeling will be great too. Then finishing off with positive as well… WOW! I don’t know about you, for me… that is truly recommended and ideal in any situation (most of the time…).

Let’s do our best to start and end with positive. People will be more appreciative and should we be consistent with that practice, it becomes our brand as a positive communicator.

Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success. – Paul J Meyer

Feel free to experiment the sharing above and let me know how it goes… looking forward to your success!

“Your habits, your future!”

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Thinking habits

Today is kind of special as it’s my first time using the WordPress app to write this blog… enjoy reading!

“The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it’s a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.” – Charles R. Swindoll

We are constantly thinking and some of us are overthinking. My mentor used to tell me… “Dion, overthinking kills!”

Truthfully, till today, I am still thinking and I’m not asking anyone to stop thinking… just be mindful and practice Awareness on what are we thinking of?

What thoughts do you have in mind? More of positives or negatives? What’s the pattern? Being aware is the key to start changing.

For some of us, we are concern about how others are thinking of us… frankly speaking I believe people are only interested in themselves. So do not worry too much on how people think of you as they are busy thinking of themselves!

Thinking can help us to decide on what’s Important versus urgent. Guiding us to prioritise our activities and helping us to achieve our goals.

“Positive thinking is a valuable tool that can help you overcome obstacles, deal with pain, and reach new goals.” – Amy Morin

After reading some articles on thinking habits, I would like to share some key learning points I have gotten on good practices. Here we go…

1. Awareness about our thinking

First things first… Awareness before change as whatever we think and feel affects our attitude leading to our action and behaviour making our habits… if there is a pattern you realise that is not helping you, time to change.

2. Decide to have open mind to learning continuously.

Expand our understanding… find new topics and things to learn. Invest some minutes leading to hours to learning new things, reading value adding articles / books… there are endless learning tools out there, just have to start learning… pick one that you can start with.

3. Think agility, be flexible

There is a need to avoid being judgemental, accept different perspectives and viewpoints… be neutral and listen first… consider new ideas… then gauge whether they are align with your values. Flexibility trumps rigidity!

4. Humour helps

Humour is a good catalyst to positive emotions and vast thoughts… being too serious and over-thinking will affect our creativity. Humour helps us to be more productive and contributes to stress management. How can you start being humourous?

5. Empathy… Seek to understand

We need to practice more empathy… connecting and relating to others via listening. Listen with the intent to understand (as the late Stephen Covey mentioned). It is a skill that needs to be developed and done deliberately at first. And one day… it will be automatic.

6. No right, no wrong…

If you think it’s right, you are right… if you think it’s wrong, you are right!

When you read an article, the writer is just expressing via his/her own understanding, knowledge, experience and views… if needed, do your own research. If you do not agree, learn to voice your opinion and decide your own stand.

7. Imagination is more powerful than knowledge

Like Albert Einstein, we need to start dreaming, fantasising and think about the possibilities… keep visualising and be flowing with creative juice… do not let the dream stealers rob you of your greatest ability to imagine…

8. Be amazed and appreciate life which if full of wonderment

Discover and go with your passion. What are the things that make you feel amazing? Be in the moment to feel good creating memories. Today only comes once in your lifetime.

9. Risk if you need to…

Like what we have been exposed to the phrase… “no risk, no gain…”

Anyway, everyone’s risk appetite is different. To grow, you need to venture out of your comfort zone… unknown territory and not sure what you are going to get yourself into… whatever it is, it may not have to be a gamble. Set SMART goals that are meaningful to yourself and stretch your own limit. Great if you can think big and have a responsible plan to achieve the goals! And if you can find people who can help to support you… that’s a bonus!

10. Focus

There are so many distractions in our lives today. How can we learn to be more focused? We can start by praying or meditating, anyway that works for you. We as humans can only do what we can do… the rest will be up to God! What is stopping you from this thinking that you are not able to change? Take action to make it your habit!

I have this believe that someone has done it before… it’s a matter of how we can reach out to that someone and learn for him/her.

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare

“Your habits, your future!”

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The Little Things We Do

“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” ~ John Wooden

Lately I have been thinking, how did the people who are successful achieve what they are achieving? How did they manage to get to where they want to be? How do they sustain what they are doing, day to day basis?

I observed and then I reflected… as there are many ways to achieve results, one of the main possibilities could be the little things that we do (on a daily basis).

“Consistency over intensity…” 

As long as we keep doing and going, I believe we will be able to get the results that we have set for. A lot of people want to achieve more in less time, realistically that is not sustainable. It takes a lot of discipline and consistent effort to be achieving the results and maintaining the momentum.

“If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.” ~ William H. McRaven

 

Image result for the little things meme

To tell you the truth, I do dream of big things, leaving a legacy in this world, achieving financial independence, running successful global companies, wanting to be the most important person to a lot of people and the list goes on and on.

Then one day when I was travelling for work, while on the plane (after the plane has taken off and at a cruising altitude)… I looked out the window (as I did not get the aisle seat that I preferred) and suddenly I realised that I am just a tiny little person in this world (what about the universe?). Anyway, I took it as an inspiration for me to work towards my vision and mission for as long as I can. I know for sure that if I keep moving, ultimately I will reach the destination that I want to.

I will keep on contributing to this world, people around me as much as I can… doing my part.

“The little things amount to big things.” ~ Robin S. Sharma

While taking this journey, I might as well enjoy it to the fullest… focusing on the little things.

“I think it’s important to find the little things in everyday life that make you happy.” ~ Paula Cole

Here are some “little things” we can do on a daily basis:

  1. Health – how about some stretching, short walk, jog or run, meditation, yoga, little movement to keep our body and mind healthy;
  2. Well-being / Attitude – smile, be yourself original self, positive thoughts, observations, awareness, reflection, visualisation, short breaks, anything to keep ourself energised, happy and fulfilled;
  3. Activities – planning, list of things to do, what is the focus for the day? research to add value to self, slow down (if need to), encouragement, appreciation, compliments, communication with others to make it a memorable day;
  4. Financial – savings for the rainy day, donation for charity, ways to give back, treat yourself, family members, money for health, holiday, education… I believe with some money, we have options;
  5. Practice Gratitude – allocate some time for gratitude, giving thanks, be grateful (especially when we are able to get up in the morning), the joy of existence and doing something great, how about drinking your favourite drink (coffee, tea, chocolate)?

“True greatness consists in being great in little things.” ~ Charles Simmons

I would like to share an interesting site about the little things. The link is as below:

http://stories.marriott.com/its-the-little-things/ 

Please share with me your thoughts and the little things you are doing throughout your journey to success.

Have a great journey folks!

 

“Your habits, your future!”

 

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What is your daily routine?

How do you normally go through your day?

What do you start with?

What is your daily routine like?

Different people have different ways of running and starting their day. After doing some reading and learning from others on their daily routines, I would like to share some observations…

There is an ex-SEAL high ranking officer shared in his commencement speech with the university students, first thing to do in the morning is to make your bed right. Some of us will be wondering why, making our bed is important and what is the significance of making the bed?

According to the Navy officer, when we make our bed right, we start our day right. We have accomplished the first task of the day and by doing that, we feel productive and there is a sense of accomplishment. And we will be looking forward to completing more tasks for the day.

At times, our day may not be good and when we return home, when we see our made bed, at least one thing is done right. That, in a way is a source of motivation. That is what the Navy officer is sharing and I believe that starting your day right is important for our well-being.

I would like to share some ideas on starting the day… you can make a choice and make it your own personal project or experiment to make your 2018 and beyond better.

Set theme of the day

What is your theme for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and the rest of the days of the week? For example, Monday is to focus on completing administration work (management, operations, etc.), Tuesday for Sales, Marketing and growth of the company… the key is the power of focus. When there is a distraction, at least you know where to focus on that day.

Start and End with questions

Like Benjamin Franklin, he starts his day by asking the question, “What good shall I do this day?” and ended his day with the question, “What good have I done today?”

As for Marshall Goldsmith, he has his daily active questions;

Did I do my best to…

  • Set clear goals?

  • Make progress to achieve my goals?

  • Find meaning?

  • Build positive relationships?

  • Be fully engaged?

  • And many more…

The power of questions that can trigger deeper thinking and unleash the potential in you. And you will need to put them into action to get the results and get motivated.

Start with exercise

Some leaders start their day with exercise, moving the body to gain positive energy and get fresh morning air. It may not be for everyone, as some may only exercise middle of the day or in the evening. In my humble opinion, as long as you keep moving and be active, it should be all right.

There are a lot of goodness that comes out from an active lifestyle, just do it in moderation. Too much of a good thing may not be that good.

SAVERS Morning Routine

This interesting routine comes from Hal Elrod, author of “The Miracle Morning,” and they are as below;

S = Silence, A = Affirmations, V = Visualization, E = Exercise, R = Reading and S = Scribing.

The way we start our morning can make or break the rest of our day. The SAVERS acronym reminds us of six habits or rituals that can improve our morning routines.

Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail

For those who prefer planning, it can be done in the morning or evening (for the next day). Planning can help us to focus on the things / tasks / activities to do for the day.

Some leaders focus on the top 3 most important things for the day, and they plan their day using calendar (or to-do list and there are a lot of apps that can be used for planning / scheduling).

Just sharing one of the best practices, some leaders will plan for own time and family time.

Blessed are those who are flexible…

Every day is a new day and for some, they do not have any fixed schedule nor routine. They are different every day, how interesting is that?

Different people have different styles, flexibility may stress out some people… and some really love the flexibility and spontaneity. “One man’s meat is another man’s poison…”

My recommendation is for you to do the different routines and experiment, then decide which one is the one suitable for you. You know yourself best.

All the very best in 2018 and beyond.

 

“Change your habits, change your world!”

#habitchange2dot0

#dionocl