Your Habits, Your Future
From beliefs and values to feelings and thoughts,
From feelings and thoughts that forms attitude,
From attitude to behaviour…
Repeated behaviours forms habits,
Turning habits into action…
Then comes the outcome and results…
Results will enhance motivation,
From the motivation ,
one realizes the potential…
The potential to endless opportunities…
Habits is part of the process.
I arrived in Kampar, Perak on the 8th November 2020.
Why? I have been given an opportunity to serve and work with young leaders.
Part of the reasons why I did not update this page in November 2020, I was busy settling in and doing what I need to do to get myself started with this new journey that I am venturing.
Frankly, there are a lot of things to do and doing my best to learn as much as I can to shorten my learning curve… so that I can start getting some small wins and outcomes.
Anyhow, it is going to be an exciting journey and looking forward to transforming minds and changing lives… of the people that I am working with and the leaders of tomorrow.
In the midst of this COVID-19 crisis, there are potentials to be unleased and opportunities to work on, I believe it depends on our perspectives – whether we see it as positive or negative… even if the event is a negative one, how we respond / react to it will lead to the outcome.
Come join me in this pursuit of excellence.
Catch up with all of you… soon.
“There is no failure. Only feedback.” – Robert Allen
I am writing this article based on my own opinion and also as a reminder to myself, the next time I visit and read this article again.
In my life’s journey, I have come across a lot of feedback, I would prefer to cherish the positive ones and learn from the “not so positive ones”.
When we are the person who is giving the “constructive” feedback (and at times it sounded more like criticism), we tend to believe that we are doing something good and helping the person that we are giving the feedback to… and in our minds, we thought that the feedback is a gift to the recipient.
In my humble opinion, it depends on the the following:
There is never one factor when taking action or giving feedback. The situation is normally more complicated then we think.
No matter how noble we think we are giving the feedback to the other person, he or she may not think otherwise…
“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection.” – Kim Collins
I have received a lot of feedback to date and just the other day, when I was doing a project for a client, not sure what got into me… I was really affected by the feedback from one of my business partners (not that the feedback was really bad or serious)… I believe I got triggered NOT by the WHAT but by the HOW the feedback was delivered.
Can you imagine, how much effort and hard work I have put into this project and to wait for the day to run the session? And how difficult it was to run the session with high expectations and pressure to deliver?
Then suddenly, a message stating that the person is not happy with one thing… how about all the other good things and effort put in?
Then the experience had made me realised that, feedback is only a gift when the other person is ready to receive it… this is one of the surprise that the recipient is not looking forward to get!
There is no perfect situation to provide feedback… ultimately, it boils down to the trust and relationship of the person with us. Even giving feedback to our loved ones, we will need to ensure they are in the right state of mind (mood) to hear what we have to say… Not forgetting to communicate with them our intention of providing the feedback, based on some facts and not just feelings.
No one is perfect and free of mistakes, we are all works in progress. At least for me, there is a need to work harder and strive for excellence.
“Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.” – Carl Jung
All the very best to you and enjoy life’s journey.
“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.” – Bruce Lee
Hello there! How have you been keeping lately? As we go through this interesting times, I would like to share the second part of the “Questions to Ponder” series.
Here we go…
Many of us will be looking forward to the weekend and the question is, how to make the most out of the weekend? Not sure about others, and as for me, I will be doing the activities that I love doing; going to the market (apart from buying groceries, it is a good place to observe all walks of life), have my cup of coffee, breakfast, relax, recharge and rejuvenate. Catch up with my reading, listening to podcasts and attend Sunday service. It is also a good time to plan for the coming week’s focus and priorities… then put that aside… drink some water and relax… slow down and get ready to speed up!
Everyone will have their own way to spend their weekend.
The use of technology is a part of our lives now, whether we like it or not. The other day, I experienced a crisis at home… what was the crisis about (apart from the COVID-19 pandemic)? The WIFI router decided to die on me and there was no connection to the internet. My kids and I, PANICKED! I was going to do my project assignment, and my kids, their homework and studies online… I was trying to troubleshoot the issue for half-a-day, I even went out to get a new WIFI router! But it did not work… Felt really helpless and stuck for not having any connectivity to the world. Anyhow, I have to resort to my phone’s data personal hotspot… slower speed but at least connected.
Anyway, technology can help us in many ways, I use it for the following:
How about you? What do you use it for?
Everyone has their own strengths (let’s not focus on the weaknesses), talents and passion. How will you be using your strengths, talents and passion to help and serve others.
Having to discover my life purpose; “Inspiring and Developing Leaders to reach their highest potential for God”, I have decided to use my strengths, talents and passion to help people (leaders) to discover their potential via learning and development engagements.
Please do not underestimate yourself, we may think that our strengths are not significant, I am certain that to some people, they will need help in the area that you are good in. Let’s have an open mind and learn how we can serve / help people, so that our world can be a better place.
Haha, the meme above may seemed funny… however, the message may have some truth in it. We do not have to focus on cultivating a lot of habits all at one. Just focus on one main (key stone) habit (as per the learning from the book, “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg) and you will be discovering the journey of changing habits (as one behaviour that you change may affect the other areas of your lives).
“And once you understand that habits can change, you have the freedom and the responsibility to remake them.” – Charles Duhigg
Some of the good habits you may be interested in to form:
and many more… let’s start with one first… when you get results, I believe you will be motivated.
In November 2018, I have shared a blog regarding the same topic… the title of the blog is, “Reboot” and “Refresh” Habits
You may click on the link and enjoy the article.
Should you have anything to add, please do not hesitate to put it in the comment section.
“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise, we harden.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
There you go… the next five -(5) questions to ponder…
Stay Safe, Healthy and Strong!
God bless.
“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco
During the month of June, my buddy and I have done the TIK4TIPs chit chat show based on the daily questions that I have for reflection purposes. In this blog (part 1), I will share five -(5) questions for this part as the show was from Monday to Friday and we did total of 25 shows for Season 1. It was a fulfilling and meaningful journey.
Now that I am not doing the Live Show, I will put down my thoughts and answers based on my reflection. Thank you for ready and I look forward to all of us who read to get some ideas / wisdom to help with our lives’ journey.
Question #1:
What is new normal to you?
The new normal to me will be doing most of my work via online platform. Since March 2020 until recently (beginning July 2020), all face-to-face training sessions were cancelled; a few changed to online / virtual training and mostly postponed until further notice (most of the multi-nationals still prefer virtual training).
Another will be wearing mask when going out to public locations, practicing social distancing… people will not be able to see your smile and not able to shake hands when meeting.
As a family, we used to eat out almost every weekend and with the movement control order (MCO), I cooked for my family for more than 90 days and have discovered new recipes, improved my cooking skills plus getting to know my family’s food preference better.
My wife also ventured into planting edible greens… our house porch area is full of pots and plants now… waiting to harvest and enjoy the produce of her labour, haha.
Question #2:
How do you move to the next level?
“The journey is never ending. There’s always gonna be growth, improvement, adversity; you just gotta take it all in and do what’s right, continue to grow, continue to live in the moment.” – Antonio Brown
What does next level mean to you?
To me, it simply means, better than yesterday. Have you improved, grown and being better that who you were before? Life is about continuous improvement journey and discovering what you are able to learn / do… a blessing!
It can be simply having better relationship with your loved ones or people close to you. A wider coverage of network; clients, partners, business contacts and opportunities.
Growing spiritually, understanding your own calling, serving the community, doing charity or helping people around you… do whatever that make you feel alive.
Depending on the priority of the individual, to some, next level could be the business / career, and to a few, it could be having the financial stability or overall wellness / lifestyle.
Which area in your life you would want to focus on right now to be better?
Question #3:
What is your purpose in life?
“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” – Winston S. Churchill
In terms of purpose, it will be very subjective, different people will have different views and why they are living their lives.
I have discovered my purpose and it goes like this:
“My purpose is to inspire and develop leaders to reach their highest potential for God.” (I only discovered my purpose about 10 years ago when a good friend of mine were curious about my career, he sat down with me and started asking me a series of questions that triggered me, to realize my purpose in life).
Once I have decided and have clarity about my WHY, I am more willing to pay the price on the choices that I make (or will make). I truly believe that anything that is worthwhile pursuing, there will be a price to pay, when we are more willing to pay the price, the journey will be somewhat easier.
I would highly recommend for anyone to invest some time to reflect and find out the WHY?
Question #4:
How do you free yourself from worry?
“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” – Swedish Proverb
Just yesterday I had a conversation with a potential client (the client is looking for a life coach) and through our conversation, some how I mentioned that we worry and feel the pain due to we are alive to feel it. It’s part of our live journey and some will lead to more serious health issues (if not treated).
I used to be a worrier and I would be lying if I were to tell you that I am free of worry now. The difference now, I have ways to deal with my worries. Some of the methods I am using to be worry-free will be as below:
“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere” – Erma Bombeck
Question #5:
What are you doing to develop yourself?
“Life is growth. If we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead.” – Morihei Ueshiba
Everyday is a learning and we learn (experience) in different aspects of our lives. What are the areas you would like to focus on to develop?
In most of my leadership workshop sessions, I will share with the participants that the word, “LEADER” comes from two -(2) words; “LEARNER” and “READER“… a leader is a learner and reader… then ultimately, the leader becomes an “EARNER” – earning knowledge, skills and learning perspectives from the resources.
There are many great resources that we can learn from… below are some of them that I am utilizing:
There are many resources that we can learn from, it’s a matter of our preferences.
“The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you.” – B. B. King
Well, that is all for part 1 for now. Happy ready and let me know if you have any extras that you would like to share. I would like to learn from you too.
Stay healthy and safe.
Have a fruitful week ahead.
“Focus on being productive instead of busy.” – Tim Ferriss
It has been about 80 days since the day the Movement Control Order (MCO) started. I have to confess that business is badly affected and I thank God for providing me enough opportunities to date.
How have you all been keeping lately?
One of the reasons for me to have this blog site is to record relevant memories of my activities, and who knows, one day, some one would like to know about my life story…
“Productivity is being able to do things that you were never able to do before.” – Franz Kafka
Below will be my activities in the past 80 days and not in any particular order:
Working with my partners on promoting some virtual / remote online training
I am blessed to have good partner friends who have included me into their digital marketing plan. Together with one of my good brother, we have presented to many clients and we have branded the programme as “Crash Course Series” which can be done in 60 – 90 minutes. An effective, straight to the point learning and application tools for people who attend the session. The learning here is for us to create our own opportunities and not everyone will buy-in to your ideas. We just have to keep going in this journey of our lives. As what Simon Sinek wrote in one of his books, “The Infinite Game”, it’s a continuous process of learning.
Delivering virtual / remote online training
Thank God for some great opportunities to provide learning sessions for clients and the overall feedback was good, some were even surprised that virtual training can be effective and engaging. I truly appreciate the feedback and encouragement. What I have learnt from the delivery, we have to put in extra (boost) of energy level and constantly engaging with the participants as they cannot feel your physical presence, thus we have to use various methods to create the engagement.
Getting news that some loss of business and cancellation of events
Every time during this period, receiving this kind of message is really not easy and it weighs down my heart (initially). As a professional trainer, coach that constantly preaching and selling the idea of being positive and motivated… now my actions will speak louder than my words. Like I say to most of my friends, we are now living in an interesting times. It’s a journey of learning discovery. Nil desperandum!
New Normal of doing things
The other day during dinner time, we had a conversation about the lock down and not being able to go out like we used to. In fact, we have not gone out to the supermarkets or malls as a family for leisure, not eating out at restaurants, watching movies and many more that we used to before. That is one of the new normal of lives. Coming back to training, I have also helped one of my partners to deliver a certification programme, the new normal was having leaders from different countries joining the session, borderless participation and learning. My good trainer friend and I had this conversation about using technology to deliver our training, never expected that this would come sooner than all of us thought it would.
Improved cooking and time to perfect the hobby
I have to confess that I used to tell people that I do not like to bake as baking was not for me… guess what? Because of this interesting times, I have ventured into baking breads, muffins and experimenting new recipes, making new dishes for my family (thank God that they liked it… HAHA!). Not only that, my wife had seriously ventured into edible gardening and soon, we will get to enjoy the fruits of her labour.
TIK4TIPs Chit Chat Time / Show
My good brother, partner and friend, Ravi had inspired and invited me to do a talk show with him, I am blessed and honoured to be collaborating with him. We want to leave our legacy behind by adding value to share our discussion / question of the day with people who tuned in. I will be posting the videos in my YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp7dGv9pxwNdM7Gf2CxE4gw?view_as=public
Learning and improving video creation skills
During this period, I have also received requests to provide short videos and digital content to clients. The only way to learn, is to do the work and by doing, I learn from mistakes. Also the need to do more research on tips and tricks in video creation. I am thankful for the requests that I get to learn more about video creation skills.
“You will enrich your life immeasurably if you approach it with a sense of wonder and discovery, and always challenge yourself to try new things.” –Nate Berkus
There are a lot of things to do and learn, what are the new things and skills you have obtained during this period? Do share with me in the comments. Looking forward to learning from you.
Stay healthy and safe.
“Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
What’s next after the lock down? What is the new normal? What can we do moving forward? and many other questions…
More than 50 days have passed since the first phase of the lock down. Been thinking a lot of questions and also discussed with some of my friends pertaining to this interesting part of history that I am going to be in. I believe some will be more positive than others and also some who are suffering from this event.
In this blog sharing, the focus will be on preparing ourselves for what is coming, as a disclaimer, I am not a fortune-teller nor having any super powers to see the future. What I am sharing here will be my thoughts and what I feel is needed for myself plus my future generations. Please message me should you have any comments or thoughts about this article. Thank you.
Are you ready?
What I have in mind… I put it all in an acronym…
Problem-Solving – Resilience – Electronic – Positiveness – Authentic – Reporting – Emotional Intelligence – Digital+Coding
PROBLEM-SOLVING
I am drawn to believe that we need skills to solve problems. Be it creative thinking, critical thinking, design thinking, any models or tools. Which one is the best? My answer will be, “The one that you will use effectively…” Especially in times like this, a lot of people, including myself have problems that can be transformed into opportunities… should we know how to solve and turn it into solutions to help people (and the money will come 🙂 )
RESILIENCE
“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” – Michael McGriffy M.D.
Imagine if we learn how to be adaptable and build our strength, Working towards being flexible… a lot of the issues will seem easier and we are calmer, thus having the ability to see things clearer then come up with better solutions. In my opinion, resilience means practicing adaptability and flexibility.
ELECTRONIC (Platforms)
After talking with many friends who are in the same industry (even in different ones), and having to experience it first hand… there is a need to learn how to communicate, present, run meetings, talks, seminar, coaching, mentoring, team building… using VIRTUAL Platforms. Any platforms, apps, programmes, tools for that matter… there are a lot of information, tutorials and guidelines on how to use them online. We just need to put in the time and effort to learn. Believe me, we need to learn how to operate in E-Platforms, the future is NOW.
POSITIVENESS
Being positive here in this article is being productive and generating ideas. That leads to creativity and innovation, another important traits for being a leader. No matter what industry we are in, there is a need to be producing new improved products and services. The best (and fastest) way is to be positive – transforming adversity / crisis into opportunities. Of course it is easier said than done. One tip I have learnt from one of my mentors… do not do it alone, work as a team, synergize and collaborate.
AUTHENTICITY
“Authenticity is your most precious commodity as a leader.” – Marcus Buckingham
By sharing this, it is also a reminder to myself. I need to be true to myself and others. No need to pretend, just be the unique and original self. Like the word “YOU” which can mean “Your Own Uniqueness”. Just be YOU, no need to be others. I truly believe that by being consistent, sooner than later, people can feel and sense your authenticity. We are all created to be one and only special person. Never let anyone tells you otherwise (another reminder to self).
REPORTING (Data)
One of my friends said… Data is going to be the next phenomenon which is going to be more valuable that oil and gold. This is one of the areas that I really need to work on to learn. My data literacy still needs a lot of work. I believe that the future is going to be bright for those who are experts in this area. I have heard some companies hiring data scientist… and there are more opportunities similar to this coming soon.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)
Anyone who wants to lead a team (direct or indirect) will need this skill. Being high on IQ is important and if we want to lead in a longer term, EQ will be the focus. Of course, there are more than IQ and EQ, we will not be discussing that in this article. Should you are able to learn how to control / manage your emotions, more great happenings will come your way. There are many good resources out there that we can learn from on EQ.
DIGITAL+CODING
This is something that I do not have patience for… when I studied IT many moons ago (oops… not disclosing my age!), I need to do it to pass my exams but now, with the dynamic change in technology… I can barely catch up with this. Well, a wise man used to share with me… if you are not willing to do the job, find someone that will do it but be prepared to PAY THE PRICE! Anyhow, I can imagine, in the near future, this skill will be easier to learn with more straight-forward interface and steps. As long as we are willing to learn, we will find a way to do it.
All the best in your future undertakings.
“The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody
can take it away from you.” – B.B. King
This year is going to be an unforgettable year for many people, especially me… ever since January 2020, I was looking towards a busy and productive year focusing on what I am going to do. Then the inevitable happened… nobody expected it and it just happened. We are all in this together, no matter who we are and where we are. This event does not care and recognize who is who… and of course some who have more resources will weather through this easier than those who have not much.
The focus of this blog is not on the details of the event, it is just a sharing on what I have learnt so far… please message me should you have any comment or feedback. I do look forward to learning from you as well. Thank you and enjoy some perspectives from me.
“One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity. “ – Albert Schweitzer
HUMILITY
The virus do not care who you are and the news on suffering of others have made me realized that “life is short!” I need to be humble and ask myself, “how do I want people to remember me (should something were to happen to me)? With tools like social media, I can use it to “brag”, tell others about my achievements, how I am in certain activities and you know what I mean… or I can be doing more contemplation, reflecting on how I can lift others up, doing what I can to take care of people close to me and inspire others to focus on the positives?
“A great man is always willing to be little.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
CHOICE
I have a choice to be positive or negative. I can also choose to be bitter with what is happening or with some people who tends to trigger / upset me. I kept reminding myself that I need to choose to focus on the positive. One of my mentors have asked me once (when we were together and some one upset me), “How do you want the story to end?” Thank you for the question and I need to choose wisely. Anyhow, there is always a price to pay to whichever direction that you have decided upon. Are you willing to pay the pay? It will be easier if you are willing…
“In the end that was the choice you made, and it doesn’t matter how hard it was to make it. It matters that you did.” ― Cassandra Clare
CREATIVITY
In times like this, especially when the government has enforced the Movement Control Order (MCO), with my son who is active and who wants to play… I have to wear my “creative hat” and come up with some simple activities… one of them is to convert our dining table into table tennis… well it has been about 20 days for the MCO… so far we (including the mom) are enjoying playing the game of “modified” table tennis. There is definitely no end to a creative mind. What are you doing to be creative? Care to share some creative activities that you and your family have come up with?
“The sky is not the limit, the mind is…”
PATIENCE
Everyone is spending most of the time together at home and there will be some conversations that will test your patience. I have learnt to perfect practice patience to listen (with the intent to understand, rather than to answer), expecting less on the things I want people to do and negative postings in social media. Remember, we have a choice…
FRIENDS
I also realized who are your good friends and the importance of having some close friends (that is good enough). How can we help to cheer our friends up and go through this journey together. I am sure one day when this is all over, there is much to share and laugh about!
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest
of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell
Below are the 10 -(ten) things you can do to cope with the event… I am sure there are more, let’s experiment some of these, to start with… all the best!
My prayer is for everyone to be safe and healthy. Keep going and there is so much to learn from this journey that we are embarking.
Thank you for your time!
” Life is short, and it is here to be lived.” – Kate Winslet
Do the following phrases sound familiar to you?
Life is short… You only live once… You have only one life, live it… never regret your life… live as if you’ll die today… and many more.
For the past two months, I have been receiving news about people passing… some acquaintances, friends, and family members. All the bad news on death… I do not mean to be rude or inconsiderate, we know that ultimately, we will leave this world… You and I know that, I believe. It’s inevitable and we are just temporary residents of the world.
And yet, the news somehow still affected me, subconsciously. Made me think the following thoughts…
– Appreciate those people around you.
– Spend quality time with your loved ones.
– Create memories.
– Live in the moment and experience the valuable time together.
– Never regret.
– Is today my last day in this world?
– What else do I need to do for my loved ones?
– What can I do to help people around me?
– How do I want people to remember me?
Well, what I can do now is to live my life with what I have, my purpose, dreams and journey with the people I want. Making choices that is worth paying the price for.
“Life is short, and it is up to you to make it sweet.” – Sarah Louise Delany
No point worrying and thinking too much about things that are not within our control. We can just do our best and strive for excellence. Do what we can and let God do what we cannot.
The following points will be a reminder to myself and if you can benefit from them, please go ahead to perfect practice them. Let me know how it goes and share your success with me, so that I can inspire others with your story.
Are you ready? Here they are…
Focus on what you want and what’s important to you. You are the captain to your own ship called “LIFE”… you decide which way you want to go. Ultimately, you make the choices and be responsible for the outcome of your choices.
No risks, no gain. Another phrase that really sounds familiar. I just need to remember to take the risks that I am able to be accountable for. Not taking just any risks blindly. It helps to have mentors and coaches who can bring out the best in you when making decisions.
Tell your loved ones that you love them. Hug them and create memories with them. How you want them to remember you? Start doing things together, while you still can.
Wise people learnt from own mistakes, wiser people learnt from other people’s mistakes… wisest people learnt from other people’s successes. Best to live in the present (NOW) than to live in the past or future. You can do something right now (based on what you learnt in the past) to get the results you want in the future. Right here, right NOW!
You cannot please everyone all the time. At the end of the day, by trying to please everyone, you please no one (especially yourself). Be true to yourself and you choose who you want to be with, to spend time with and to create precious memories with.
Be honest with yourself, live up to your own values. People who do not have the same values, sooner or later, they will not stick around. As what people say, “birds of the same feather, they flock together…” Better to have people with the same values to be part of your life. You can then be yourself, no need to pretend to be who you are.
Find happiness and meaning in life through serving others. By helping others, you are in fact, helping yourself (to find meaning and be happy). Have the abundance mentality, the more you help others, the more you gain in return. And expect nothing… whatever comes back, it’s a BONUS.
The mind is like the parachute… it only works when it is open. When you are open to learning, you will then learn new things and find meaning. Steve Jobs also mentioned… “Stay hungry, stay foolish…” Life is a journey of learning.
Action speaks louder than words. This is definitely a strong reminder for me to take (massive) action, if I want to achieve results that I set goal for and to solve the challenges that I am facing. Like what I have learnt, as leaders, we need to “walk our talk!”. Having integrity as our character will somehow be the personal brand. (How do you want people to remember you?).
“Life is short, and you have to have fun with it, you know?” – Fabio Lanzoni
What is stopping you from living your life to the fullest?
If there is a need to talk to someone, let the someone be me… call me and we can chat over coffee. Thank you for your time in reading this blog and all the very best in your life.
“Create healthy habits, not restrictions. “
How’s your new year 2020 so far? Before the end of 2019, I have had the chance to get some feedback from my friends and social media contributors on the above-mentioned topic. Thank you to those who have contributed and if you would like to share yours, please put in the comment below. I wish you all the very best in your health and wellness this year and beyond.
“Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.”
– Josh Billings
By the way, the intention of this blog is for sharing and learning purposes… in my humble opinion, there is “NO RIGHT NOR WRONG…” Thank you.
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” – Jim Rohn
There you go… some great sharing, ideas and learning. Found any one that you would like to start this year? If you do, please share with me. I would love to hear from you. All the very BEST!
