Your Habits, Your Future
Hi there! I would like to share the compilation of my earlier quotes that I created for other social media. Just want to put into one place for keep sake. Enjoy the quotes and feel free to use them (just need to acknowledge the author, if it is not my original quote… as for my quote… use it freely!)
Here we go…
Stay tuned for more quotes in the coming weeks!
Let me know your thoughts and if you have any good quotes or references to share. Looking forward to hearing from you.
“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” – Warren Buffett
How do you want people to remember you?
This question will be one of the many questions I asked in the leadership workshop. The moment someone mentioned your name, what will be the first few traits or identity that come into their minds? More positive or not so positive?
I believe that building your own leadership branding will take time and it’s a journey to be consistent and maintain a great brand. It also serves as a good reminder for us to ensure we are practicing what we are preaching. It all boils down to integrity.
“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” – Henry Ford
Yes, another profound statement by Sir Henry Ford, intention alone may not be enough, we need to put into action should we choose to build our leadership brand.
The key areas to a great leadership branding, based on numerous interactions with leaders from around the region are as listed below;
Self-Leadership, leading others, emotional quotient, communication with others (the manner), how we make people feel after they have interacted with us…
One of the videos I have watched (introduced by one of the MNC leaders) mentioned the following process…
Character —> process —> results
Based on the process, the gain results and to sustain is to focus on the process. Once we get the process right (mastery and habits), the results will come automatically. Thus, to build our leadership branding, we need to work on how we are being, doing and getting it…
Our reputation and how we carry ourself when dealing with people (best is to stay true to ourselves), to strife by living your own brand (be comfortable in your own skin) and build good mindshare of others on you, and that is how I believe we can practice our differentiation (any how, we are unique).
How can we then work on building our leadership branding? We can make use of Deming’s PDCA model…
Plan, do, check, act
Plan; to me it means plan your own strategy and goals on your leadership branding.
Do; action and execution of your strategy and goals…
Check; what is the outcome from your action? How do you feel and what is the learning?
Act; fine-tune on the outcome and learning. It’s all in the details… a little bit goes a long way… the back to planning – setting your sight on your own improved version. Bigger and better… continuous improvement; Kaizen!
Recently while working on this leadership branding topic for my blog… I came across an article from Harvard Business Review;
The title of the article is as follows;
Define Your Personal Leadership Brand in Five Steps by Norm Smallwood
After reading it, I have picked up some good points that I would like to share with you… also my answers as example ?
1. What results do you want to achieve in the next year?
In the next 12 months, what would you like to see and experience with…
clients and partners;
My answer: Value in new approach, new topics, improved delivery
Own organisation;
My answer: Additional clients, new products, certification, partners
Community;
My answer: Serving with more CSR, charity,
Inspiring and developing leaders to reach their highest potential for God.
2. What do you wish to be known for?
Willingness to share, genuine and reliable
Innovative, ethical, fast and accurate
3. Define your identity
Dynamic, Integrity, Ownership, Nurturing
4. Construct your leadership brand statement, then test it.
“I want to be known for being ______________ so that I can deliver __________.”
I want to be known for being generous, ethical, dynamic, accountable so that I can deliver value to people that I served for the best memories of my life.
• Is this the brand identity that best represents who I am and what I can do?
• Is this brand identity something that creates value in the eyes of my organization and key stakeholders?
• What risks am I taking by exhibiting this brand? Can I live this brand?
5. Make your brand identity real
Being true to myself. Living my own legacy. Designing my own life as my leadership branding.
And my final thoughts,
Consistency is key.
“Communication is the response you get…”
The quote is one of the NLP presuppositions that I have learnt from my certification program. Yes, we communicate everyday and we get all sorts of responses as well.
Another favourite of mine is…
“You cannot NOT communicate!”
During my training workshops, I will ask the participants (especially to those who are married)… “what will happen if you do not communicate with your spouse for a week?”
Most of them will answer… “you will sleep outdoor…” “that’s the end of you…” haha all interesting answers.
In this blog, I would like to share some good communication practices and habits.
Please feel free to share your thoughts as I believe I am still learning and we are in this learning journey together.
Here it goes…
How are you being consistent with your words, the way you say it and body language? Are you in harmony with your intention and action?
Trust is congruence between what you say and what you do. – Peter Drucker
When communicate with others, how aware are you with their responses? How is the receiver learning? What method will be effective for them to learn faster? Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic?
We each have a sixth sense that is attuned to the oneness dimension in life, providing a means for us to guide our lives in accord with our ideas. – Henry Reed
How are you listening?
We can learn from the late Stephen Covey… “listening with the intent to understand…”
it will be challenging to listen effectively when you have filters. We start judging and jumping into conclusion… definitely not helping us nor achieving good rapport with the speaker.
Awareness and mindfulness to perfect practice empathy… listening to emotions in the tone and physiology… may not be easy at first, it requires a lot of conscious effort plus practices to make it into a good habit.
Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike. – Daniel Goleman
Happened to come across this learning from the book… “To sell is human” by Daniel Pink. A good book to read for leaders. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1594631905/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_alMrDbZZH9BHC
In summary, let’s wait for 5 seconds to ensure that others have finished with what they have to say… then we can reply. Pause and silent is one of the powerful tools in communication.
Silence is one of the great arts of conversation. – Marcus Tullius Cicero
Our brains works fast and we may have lots to say or ask… to be effective, learn to focus on one question at a time. Let the receiver understand and internalise what you are asking, let them have the opportunity to answer with better comprehension of your question.
Avoid asking “nested questions”… question within a question or too many questions at one go…
The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. – Bruce Lee
Communication is how we deliver the message not only the message nor it’s meaning.
Even if it’s not so good news delivered in a right manner, trumps good news delivered inappropriately…
Better good manners than good looks. – Proverb
Usage of words and how you say them is important. What I’ve learnt when providing feedback and not to sound sarcastic nor implying that the receiver is at fault… usage of “I” rather than “you” will be recommended. “You” sounded more like placing the person as the attention of the conversation and may cause them to feel at fault.
Ask questions, don’t make assumptions. – Angela Ahrendts
Imagine when you start on a journey with positive… a good start and everything will be better… the feeling will be great too. Then finishing off with positive as well… WOW! I don’t know about you, for me… that is truly recommended and ideal in any situation (most of the time…).
Let’s do our best to start and end with positive. People will be more appreciative and should we be consistent with that practice, it becomes our brand as a positive communicator.
Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success. – Paul J Meyer
Feel free to experiment the sharing above and let me know how it goes… looking forward to your success!
Today is kind of special as it’s my first time using the WordPress app to write this blog… enjoy reading!
“The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. Really, it’s a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.” – Charles R. Swindoll
We are constantly thinking and some of us are overthinking. My mentor used to tell me… “Dion, overthinking kills!”
Truthfully, till today, I am still thinking and I’m not asking anyone to stop thinking… just be mindful and practice Awareness on what are we thinking of?
What thoughts do you have in mind? More of positives or negatives? What’s the pattern? Being aware is the key to start changing.
For some of us, we are concern about how others are thinking of us… frankly speaking I believe people are only interested in themselves. So do not worry too much on how people think of you as they are busy thinking of themselves!
Thinking can help us to decide on what’s Important versus urgent. Guiding us to prioritise our activities and helping us to achieve our goals.
“Positive thinking is a valuable tool that can help you overcome obstacles, deal with pain, and reach new goals.” – Amy Morin
After reading some articles on thinking habits, I would like to share some key learning points I have gotten on good practices. Here we go…
1. Awareness about our thinking
First things first… Awareness before change as whatever we think and feel affects our attitude leading to our action and behaviour making our habits… if there is a pattern you realise that is not helping you, time to change.
2. Decide to have open mind to learning continuously.
Expand our understanding… find new topics and things to learn. Invest some minutes leading to hours to learning new things, reading value adding articles / books… there are endless learning tools out there, just have to start learning… pick one that you can start with.
3. Think agility, be flexible
There is a need to avoid being judgemental, accept different perspectives and viewpoints… be neutral and listen first… consider new ideas… then gauge whether they are align with your values. Flexibility trumps rigidity!
4. Humour helps
Humour is a good catalyst to positive emotions and vast thoughts… being too serious and over-thinking will affect our creativity. Humour helps us to be more productive and contributes to stress management. How can you start being humourous?
5. Empathy… Seek to understand
We need to practice more empathy… connecting and relating to others via listening. Listen with the intent to understand (as the late Stephen Covey mentioned). It is a skill that needs to be developed and done deliberately at first. And one day… it will be automatic.
6. No right, no wrong…
If you think it’s right, you are right… if you think it’s wrong, you are right!
When you read an article, the writer is just expressing via his/her own understanding, knowledge, experience and views… if needed, do your own research. If you do not agree, learn to voice your opinion and decide your own stand.
7. Imagination is more powerful than knowledge
Like Albert Einstein, we need to start dreaming, fantasising and think about the possibilities… keep visualising and be flowing with creative juice… do not let the dream stealers rob you of your greatest ability to imagine…
8. Be amazed and appreciate life which if full of wonderment
Discover and go with your passion. What are the things that make you feel amazing? Be in the moment to feel good creating memories. Today only comes once in your lifetime.
9. Risk if you need to…
Like what we have been exposed to the phrase… “no risk, no gain…”
Anyway, everyone’s risk appetite is different. To grow, you need to venture out of your comfort zone… unknown territory and not sure what you are going to get yourself into… whatever it is, it may not have to be a gamble. Set SMART goals that are meaningful to yourself and stretch your own limit. Great if you can think big and have a responsible plan to achieve the goals! And if you can find people who can help to support you… that’s a bonus!
10. Focus
There are so many distractions in our lives today. How can we learn to be more focused? We can start by praying or meditating, anyway that works for you. We as humans can only do what we can do… the rest will be up to God! What is stopping you from this thinking that you are not able to change? Take action to make it your habit!
I have this believe that someone has done it before… it’s a matter of how we can reach out to that someone and learn for him/her.
“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Andre Gide
Due to my work, people have this perception that I travel a lot… in actual fact… I do travel and not as much as some other people. My wife is the one, who loves to travel for holiday, for me… I travel when I need to.
This blog is dedicated to you if you travel often for leisure or work. I believe there are some learning and sharing here for everyone.
“Remember that happiness is a way of travel – not a destination.”
– Roy M. Goodman
Please find the important and good habits that I wish to share with you as below. If you have any other great habits to share, please comment. Thank you and happy travels
(1) Save a copy of your original travelling documents
Scan or photocopy your passport, identification, tickets, hotel bookings and any important documents that you need for this trip. Upload them somewhere you can access when needed; not only in your phone. Just in case if you need them.
(2) Be early
It is a good habit to arrive early. You never know, how many people are travelling that day. It happened to me at least once where I was travelling with one of my partners and due to he was late, we cannot checked in and have to buy new tickets. Be prepared for any unexpected events and when we are early, we can handle the issues with more time minus the anxiety.
(3) Bring a sweater, jacket or scarf
Bring one that is lightweight and have it with you in your hand-carry / laptop bag. At times when the airport or plane has less people, it can be cold. Be stay warm then get yourself catching cold (really hate it when I have runny nose!).
(4) Pack essential medication and vitamins
Have your supplements and medication (not asking you to pack the whole pharmacy… just the essential ones that you normally need). Stay healthy and remember to eat your vitamins… and choose your meals wisely and keep them balanced.
(5) Review your travel plans and packing list
Good to plan your travels and what you need to bring with you. You do not want to over-pack nor under-pack. I believe that when we plan (with the help of visualization), we can pack better. For business travels, at times, some hotels will bundle laundry services as part of the package, thus, less clothes to bring – travel light is definitely preferred. Remember your adapters, cables, chargers and battery packs / power bank (cannot check-in, have to be in your hand-carry bag).
(6) Keep your healthy and wellness habits
Travelling is not the reason for not exercising nor eating healthy. We always have the choice. Please make the right choice – this also serves as a reminder to myself… some times it gets really hard to adapt to new places and practicing our routine. Just do our best to stick to the good habits.
(7) Spend wisely
If you plan to go for any shopping, please do some research and compare pricing. Remember to give yourself a budget on how much you can spend. Prevent from over-spending and then regret later. No point crying over spilt milk! Check the exchange rate to see if the price is fair and not overdoing it.
(8) Take good care of your own personal and important belongings
Be mindful and alert, especially when taking out money and using the mobile phone in public. Use the hotel’s safe to store any additional money and travel documents. Just bring with you what you need to spend for the day or use credit card (also beware of scammers and theft) if the outlet is able to accept them.
Everyone has their own way and preference when it comes to travelling. Experiment different ways and go with the one that you are happiest with. My style of travelling… having my music and book (e-book)… drink coffee, relax before boarding the plane and enjoy the journey.
Whether travelling for fun or work… we are still creating memories for ourselves and the journey is the reward!
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
– Helen Keller
Have FUN!
“Coaching is leading with curiosity…”
Since I started with coaching certification training, executive coaching and group coaching journey… there are many questions on what a coach should do and what are the best practices for a coach to follow?
There are many school of thoughts when it comes to coaching and there are also many professional bodies around this subject on coaching.
I am not here to say that what I know is the best, whatever I am sharing is just my own thoughts and opinions. Please feel free to make any changes to your own styles and practices. My intention is to add value to what you have already known and practicing. Contact me and we can have further discussions and who knows, I can also learn from you as well. I have this believe that, as leaders, we are constantly learning new things in our journey in life or at work.
“It’s important to work hard, stay humble, and not let the criticism or the compliments go to your head.” – Jessica Sanchez
Anyone or any organizations that are practicing coaching, this article is dedicated to you… based on what I have learned from many gurus, practitioners and learners. Even a coach needs to be coached. As long as we are learning, we are growing, improving to be a better leader.
I would like to make it simple for all of us to remember the key habits when it comes to coaching. Let’s focus on the three -(3) key habits, the Essential Coaching Habits…
YES! Only three -(3) key habits and here they are;
What is your intention and purpose to coach this client / coachee / person?
We can learn from Simon Sinek from one of his great books…
As a coach, we need to ensure that our intention is right. When our “WHY” is right, the “HOW” and the “WHAT” will be in place.
In my humble opinion, this Habit #1: INTENT is the starting point to any coaching success. As a coach, our main INTENT is to make our client / coachee successful. It is all about them and our role is to be focusing on their goal(s) and partnering (accountability) with them to their journey in accomplishing their goals to results realization. At the back of our head, with the INTENT, the questions that we ask will be somehow pointing to their goal(s) and that is what is we want. Then comes Habit #2.
“Be lazy, be curious, be often…”
– Michael Bungay Stanier
A lot of times, as leaders, we tend to tell (advise, guide, share experience) our people what to do and that is more of mentoring. Even during coaching, we have some hard time adjusting to this new habit of asking questions. We cannot stand silence and the quality of questions we asked were towards leading the client / coachee to the path that we want them to journey on.
Many of the participants who attended the coaching certification program have asked me, “What are the tip for asking great questions?”
That is why this Habit #2: CURIOSITY is the key… when we have the right INTENT and combined with CURIOSITY, the quality of questions asked will be great. As coaches, we want to help and support our client / coachee to be more successful in getting results and we are curious in terms of how they can achieve their goals and what they are going to do to accomplish them.
YES! Leaders are learners… we want to learn about our clients / coachees. How to make them more successful. When they get the results, the will be MORE MOTIVATED! That leads us to Habit #3: OUTCOME
What we can learn from Anthony Robbins’ Success Cycle model… when the client / coachee achieve results, their belief / certainty (motivation) will increase. If you can see from the illustration above, what leads to results will be ACTION and as what Tony mentioned, “MASSIVE ACTION!!”
Then as a coach what is our role? Habit #3: OUTCOME is all about us coaches having the right INTENT with CURIOSITY, asking the right questions to assist our client / coachee to obtain the OUTCOME which will be ACTION STEPS. When both the coach and client / coachee are clear about the goal(s), the questions that we ask will point to HOW and WHAT the client / coachee will ACTION to get the results or moving them on the right path in achieving the results. Automatically when the client / coachee is moving towards their direction in achieving their goal(s) or best when they achieve results, they will be more fulfilled, motivated and happier.
“Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result. “
– Oscar Wilde
There you go… the Essential Coaching Habits. I strongly believe that if we are able to practice these three -(3) Coaching Habits;
We will be able to help more people to be SUCCESSFUL. Like what I normally share with my client / coachee / participants…
“When you are successful, I will be successful too…”
“Please DO NOT FORGET ME when you are successful… hahaha”
Thank you.
The year is coming to an end. Have you set for what you want to achieve next year and the years to come?
There are a lot of books written on goal setting and the importance of it (also there are some who do not really agree to goal setting… just go with the flow and come what may sort of concept).
Anyway, in my humble opinion, it is a good habit to set goals for yourself. Goals are like check points and light beacons guiding us; whether we are nearer to achieving the results that we want or getting further away, hence, we will need to do something to get back on track.
If you cannot think of any goals to set, how about issues that you would like to solve? In a way, they are like something you would like to move towards to (solving the issues).
Imagine driving on the road and looking at the milestones / signboards showing the distance to go in reaching our destination (or check points)… normally, one will be more excited when the destination is getting nearer. The same feeling when we are about to reach / achieve the results of our goals.
I have compiled some good questions to help in preparing ourselves in goal setting; the questions are as below:
1) Why am I here?
What is my purpose? What is meaningful for me? What moves me? What is my passion? What I do I really care about? What need can I serve?
Note: A good book to read will be “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek
2) Where have I been?
What does my past outcome indicate? What past experience have I got? What can I learn from my past?
3) Where am I now?
What kind of person am I? What abilities do I possess? What am I good at? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What do I love doing? What motivates me?
4) Where do I want to get to?
What kind of person do I want to become? What is my personal brand? What abilities do I want to develop? What learning goals shall I set? What are the organizational goals in which I can make a difference? Which knowledge and skills areas do I need to focus on to deliver both my personal objectives and benefits for my organization? What is my conscience directing me towards?
5) How shall I get there?
What learning and development actions do I need to undertake? What resources will I need to have? How shall I overcome obstacles to my learning?
6) How will I know if I have made it?
What is the measurable outcome? How do I measure achievement of goals? Is it money? Is it promotion? Is it another measure of success?
7) What’s stopping me?
What’s holding me back from doing what I want to do?
8) Who can help / support me?
Who can teach me? From whom can I learn? Who can be my accountability partner?
After going through the questions, the next best thing to do is to come up with your own written plan… or be more creative and come up with a mind map of the goals you want to achieve… some of the recommended areas are as below:
– Spiritual
– Family
– Health
– Personal
– Financial
– Community
– Career / Business
– Friends
– Environment
The moment you have decided on what you want, everything gets clearer. When you put them into action, you will get the results and be motivated, thus realizing your potential to achieve even more.
“The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective.
You don’t have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.” – Chris Pine
I believe most of us have encountered events; positive or negative ones from time to time. Some of the daily events; traffic conditions, weather, dealing with people, news, unexpected happenings, not getting the promotion and many other events that have happened before or may happen some time in the future… most of the events are not within our control.
What I have learnt from my mentors and coaches, the events or happenings may be perceived differently from people to people. Some may see it as negative, others may be glad and view them as positive. It is depending on the PERSPECTIVE on the person experiencing the event.
Jack Canfield (author of the Success Principles and series on Chicken Soup for the Soul) mentioned that Success Principle #1; “Take 100% Responsibility of your life” with the formula:
E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome)
Whatever the Event may be, depending on the Outcome we want (positive or negative), we Respond accordingly (think and action). Please read the article as the link below to learn more about the formula:
“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare
In this blog, I would like to share some pointers on how we can develop the habit of healthy perspective (inspired by Jeff Keller) in my own words, understanding and suggestions, please feel free to share your thoughts with me;
“Each person does see the world in a different way. There is not a single, unifying, objective truth. We’re all limited by our perspective.”
– Siri Hustvedt
“To enjoy the glow of good health, you must exercise.” ~ Gene Tunney
“If we could give every individual the right amount of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not too much, we would have found the safest way to health.”
~ Hippocrates
What does it take for us to be healthy, my definition of being healthy is being self-reliant, being able to move (walk, jog, run, cycle, swim) and enjoy every moment of it versus being out-of-breath, lack of stamina, feeling tired and immobility (you know what I mean).
I believe there are a lot of people out there (I am one of them), who are wondering, how and what are the activities that we can do to stay healthy and especially if one is a food lover… how to maintain (or lose the extra) weight while enjoying the lifestyle of having good food plus drinks.
There is no easy way out, it takes a lot of hard work, discipline and determination (at first). Sooner or later, should we be consistent in practicing the exercise as part of our lifestyle, it gets easier and more enjoyable.
This sharing is not the ultimate guide to having the best body nor quick weight lost program… it is just some of the activities that I find useful and you may consider in practising them as good habits (daily)…
“It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” ~ Socrates
Please find the things or activities that you can experiment to make them part of your lifestyle habits:
In my humble opinion, different activities for different people. You have to find the right ones for yourself. As for me, depending on where I am and what I feel like doing… apart from doing all the activities mentioned above, you may also want to look into your own passion projects (for motivation, joy and fulfilment).
“We do not stop exercising because we grow old – we grow old because we stop exercising.” ~ Kenneth Cooper
“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” ~ John Wooden
Lately I have been thinking, how did the people who are successful achieve what they are achieving? How did they manage to get to where they want to be? How do they sustain what they are doing, day to day basis?
I observed and then I reflected… as there are many ways to achieve results, one of the main possibilities could be the little things that we do (on a daily basis).
“Consistency over intensity…”
As long as we keep doing and going, I believe we will be able to get the results that we have set for. A lot of people want to achieve more in less time, realistically that is not sustainable. It takes a lot of discipline and consistent effort to be achieving the results and maintaining the momentum.
“If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.” ~ William H. McRaven
To tell you the truth, I do dream of big things, leaving a legacy in this world, achieving financial independence, running successful global companies, wanting to be the most important person to a lot of people and the list goes on and on.
Then one day when I was travelling for work, while on the plane (after the plane has taken off and at a cruising altitude)… I looked out the window (as I did not get the aisle seat that I preferred) and suddenly I realised that I am just a tiny little person in this world (what about the universe?). Anyway, I took it as an inspiration for me to work towards my vision and mission for as long as I can. I know for sure that if I keep moving, ultimately I will reach the destination that I want to.
I will keep on contributing to this world, people around me as much as I can… doing my part.
“The little things amount to big things.” ~ Robin S. Sharma
While taking this journey, I might as well enjoy it to the fullest… focusing on the little things.
“I think it’s important to find the little things in everyday life that make you happy.” ~ Paula Cole
Here are some “little things” we can do on a daily basis:
“True greatness consists in being great in little things.” ~ Charles Simmons
I would like to share an interesting site about the little things. The link is as below:
http://stories.marriott.com/its-the-little-things/
Please share with me your thoughts and the little things you are doing throughout your journey to success.
Have a great journey folks!